One in every 10 adolescents across the nation is grappling with a mental health issue, according to the 2023 Rwanda Mental Health Survey.

The study highlights that Rwandans aged 14 to 25 are particularly vulnerable, facing psychological challenges such as depression, anxiety, and trauma. Mental health issues often manifest through changes in behavior and attitude, affecting how individuals relate to others in their personal and professional lives, according to mental health experts.

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The impact of these changes can lead to strained relationships at home, at work, and within communities. It is important to recognize the signs early, understand their root causes, and take steps to foster healthy communication and empathy in these environments.

"One of the primary indicators of mental health challenges is a noticeable shift in behavior. A person who was once punctual and respectful might start isolating themselves or exhibit aggressive behavior,” said Jane Gatete Abatoni, the Executive Secretary of ARCT-Ruhuka, an association of trauma counsellors.

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"This shift, often misunderstood as a change in personality, can cause conflict with friends, family, or colleagues. In Rwandan culture, such changes are sometimes attributed to rudeness, leading to gossip and further isolation of the individual.”

Abatoni said that the way a person sees and trusts others can also change due to mental illness. Simple social interactions may be misinterpreted, leading to feelings of suspicion and mistrust.

"This can significantly impact relationships, causing a breakdown in communication and creating a hostile environment at home and at work.”

At work, the effects of mental health issues can be particularly damaging. Individuals may become defensive, lose concentration, and underperform. Suspicion and fear of being judged or mistreated by colleagues can create a toxic atmosphere, resulting in more conflicts and lower productivity.

"The inability to address these concerns can lead to even greater difficulties in maintaining a positive working relationship with peers and supervisors,” said Abatoni.

Breaking the stigma

People are encouraged to prioritize their mental health with the same dedication they give to their physical and general health.

Experts argue that it is crucial not only for present well-being but also for the future careers and relationships.

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Hubert Sugira Hategekimana, a relationship expert, delved into the subtle yet significant indicators of mental health issues.

"Mental illness often begins with a state of unease, when your mind, emotions, or thinking are not at ease. The challenge is that many people do not realize that there is a way out, which prevents them from seeking help,” he explained

Hategekimana advocated for breaking the stigma around mental health, pointing out that it is as important as physical health.

"Mental health is not about being &039;crazy.' But about understanding when you can not cope on your own and seeking the help you need," he stressed.

"You do not start to get sick when you have symptoms. Just like any other disease, where the virus incubates before symptoms appear, mental illness can quietly incubate within us, affecting our relationships depending on their significance and the expectations involved,” he said.

We all have the mental ability to cope and bounce back and this, he said, is called resilience. However, when what happens to you is too overwhelming to manage on your own, that's when you need to seek help. It's important to reach out when you can no longer cope by yourself, said Hategekimana.

"Not all coping mechanisms are healthy. Some people turn to substance abuse, but that's not true coping, it's unhealthy avoidance. Coping means dealing with challenges naturally, not always relying on a psychologist or expert. People often recognize when things are going wrong, but many wait too long to seek help. We've grown too comfortable with discomfort, even making peace with not being at ease,” he said.

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"Healing from mental health issues involves three key steps: awareness, acceptance, and action. First, you must be aware of the problem, because you can’t fix what you don't know. Then, you need to accept the situation without feeling defeated, but as a starting point for change.

"And then take action, whether that means seeking professional help or leaning on the support of friends, family, or colleagues. Sometimes, the solution doesn't require an expert, it just requires the right person to help you through."

When relationships can be affected

Hategekimana highlights how different relationships, whether marital, friendly, or professional, are impacted by mental health in unique ways.

The proximity and expectations within each relationship dictate how much strain they can bear before cracks begin to show.

"Relationships, can be affected long before we notice the symptoms of our mental illness, just as illness has an incubation period. The impact of our mental illness depends on the severity, the type of relationship, and how much it means to you as a person,” he said.

"What you might tolerate in a workplace may be intolerable in a marriage, as expectations differ. When it comes to relationships and mental health, there's no simple answer because many factors are always at play. Before we start pointing out other people in our lives, reflecting on yourself and identifying what you do not do best, is the best way to save your relationships once you have a mental illness.”

He also touched on the accessibility of mental health services in Rwanda.

With a health insurance [including mutuelle de santé] card, Rwandans can now access mental health care (therapy) at local health posts, a resource many were previously unaware of.

Ways to protect relationships during mental health struggles

"First and foremost, is awareness, by educating oneself on the symptoms of mental health issues and their potential causes. Individuals can better understand their own reactions and seek help when necessary. Self-awareness allows one to recognize and address unhealthy behaviors, restoring harmony in relationships,” Abatoni said.

"Equally important is the role of empathy in managing these changes. People around those experiencing mental health challenges should take time to listen, not just to words, but to non-verbal cues such as silence, withdrawal, or emotional outbursts.

"Offering a safe space for individuals to express their feelings without fear of judgment can help rebuild trust and communication.”

Abatoni said that creating supportive environments at home and in the workplace is key to helping individuals with mental health issues regain confidence and improve their relationships.

"By promoting understanding, empathy, and active listening, communities can contribute to a more inclusive and compassionate approach to mental health, ensuring that those in need feel heard, supported, and empowered to heal.”