The typical scenario of a man from a restaurant rolling an overused toothpick between his teeth, his mouth ajar while walking on the street, is more common than not, in Kigali today. He occasionally stares into the sky and tries to push his piece of stick into the obscure corner in the mouth in a fruitless effort to extract the lost morsel of meat he has supposedly been feeding on.
The typical scenario of a man from a restaurant rolling an overused toothpick between his teeth, his mouth ajar while walking on the street, is more common than not, in Kigali today.
He occasionally stares into the sky and tries to push his piece of stick into the obscure corner in the mouth in a fruitless effort to extract the lost morsel of meat he has supposedly been feeding on.
The truth of the matter is more often than not, the fellow in question has had a meal of beans, not the meat he is struggling do away with.
The most inexcusable of it is that actually the fellow might have nursed a cold bottle of Sprite for lunch. So to cover for the credit crunch that has viciously attacked his back pocket, the fellow decides to put on a fake I-have-just-had-a-delicious-feast-of-meat show.
First of all, there is nothing fashionable about spotting a toothpick from the corner of your mouth at about after lunch time. If anything, it advertises your obvious lack of table etiquette.
What is found at the table should be left at the table and that goes for among other things, the table napkins, and God almighty – the cutlery. For lack of any other reason, at least consider it part of someone’s start-up capital or fixed asset.
Secondly, nobody finds any joy in staring at your overused buccal cavity after a meal, because most likely, the look of your molars might nauseate other people and the appearance of the remains of food particles in your mouth might not be any pleasant either.
In many cultures people find it very offensive to start you toothpick games with you teeth right in front of everyone and to make it worse, after dislodging whatever you find in your month, you disgustingly look at it, or roll it with your tongue before you throw it back into the mouth.
So, please, restrict your teeth exercises with toothpicks for the rest room or at least not in the eye shot of other diners who are hoping that that uncultured someone does not spoil their appetite for a worthy restaurant meal by proving that ghastly sight of uncouthness.
Besides, there is nothing really in vogue about toothpicks. Your good dentists will tell you that they will wedge unwanted spaces between your naturally given set of cut and crush tools.
Much worse for those who are less careful, their gums will take most of the damage, bleeding every time, giving opportunity to diseases, bad breath causing germs and by extension, intimacy-ruining kissing experiences.
Surely, not because of a tooth pick. It does not help that anyone feels they can cut and chop pieces of wood into the once very precious tool so that on the quality scale of one to ten, you will get anything between there on the market or restaurant table for that matter.
For the uninitiated, there is something called dental floss. So next time before you want to cover up for your ignorance of basic table manners, avoid opening and closing your mouth in front of strangers because of a toothpick and God forbid, don’t carry around one to advertise what you obviously lack. And yes, I insist that you have a toothpick-free Sunday.