You probably want to change a certain behaviour, and even set ways to do so, on the first day you’re in it fully, on the second and third day, not so much. Along the way, you completely lose the interest, you question yourself on the purpose for which you’re doing it, then pause or quit.
It could be the desire to pick a new hobby, take on a new course, get more skills in your profession, exercise your own talent, spend more time with family, or challenge yourself to face a certain fear or leave your comfort zone. But when doubt kicks in, or you lack people to cheer you up or encourage you to keep pushing, it is easy to give up.
If you lack the reason, morale or meaning for doing what you do, or you’re not sure of the goals you want to achieve, chances are your motivation will be low and require a boost.
Motivation can be defined as the energy that drives the accomplishment of a goal and if it isn’t there, achieving any goal becomes a difficult task—it is the force that makes people act, set goals, and achieve them.
Experts say that motivation is influenced by how much you want the goal, what you will gain and your personal expectations.
Sandrine Ingabire, an entrepreneur, says that motivation is sometimes determined by someone’s upbringing and the people we associate ourselves with. For instance, she says, her desire to assist needy people started way back at home when she was young. It was a virtue instilled in her early, as she saw her parents collecting clothes, and food and giving them to deprived families.
"Our home was open, especially on Sundays, where some of the people we prayed with at church visited and we shared a meal with them. Up to now, I am encouraged to give to people in whatever way I can, whether by sharing my effort, knowledge, money, skills, ideas, because I believe that way, I can empower someone with the little I have. If I hadn’t seen it happen at home, maybe it wouldn’t be easy for me to do,” she says.
Ingabire explains that the people we rub shoulders with often have the power to motivate or demotivate us. For instance, if you’re struggling with toxic substance addiction and wish to quit, but your friends take alcohol and drugs in their free time, quitting may be next to impossible. "You can’t have such an environment if you are planning to be a better person.”
She says motivation starts when one sets a goal and works towards achieving it. Ask yourself what you need to do to fulfil your goals and the time frame, either a month, week/s or a year, that way, you can know exactly what you are dealing with.
Ingabire believes that you can ask a friend or family member to walk with you on the journey or hold you accountable and if possible, set a reminder.
E. Scott Geller, a behavioural psychologist during a TEDx Talks’ presentation, explains that how we encourage others and ourselves to be motivated is by empowerment. He says that to know if you feel empowered, you need to answer three questions; can you do it? (It’s self-efficacy), do you believe you can do it? Do you have the time, knowledge and the training to do what you have to do?
"Secondly, will it work? Do you believe that what you have to do or asked to do, the behaviour will lead to an automated outcome? Sometimes it needs the education or training to make it work,” he notes.
Thirdly, he expresses, do you believe the consequences? Is it worth it? If you answer ‘yes’ to the questions, you’re competent. When you feel competent at doing worthwhile work, you’re more likely to be self-motivated.
Geller explains that as a leader or teacher, you motivate people by giving them feedback, you show them that they are competent.
He says that when you believe you have a sense of autonomy and choice of what you’re doing, you feel more self-motivated.
He encourages sitting back and reflecting, and be mindful of the choices you have made, talk about being more of a success seeker than a failure and communicate with yourself and others.
Social support is critical, people who receive a sense of relatedness, connection with other people, feel motivated and are happier. We need to have the courage to accept feedback, to speak up, and also help each other to feel self-motivated, Geller says.