Dear Aunt Silvia,

I am a widower with 7 grown up children and two young grandchildren. I was widowed eight years ago and have since been single.

I met a young and beautiful woman who is a single mother of one child and I want to marry her. The only problem I have is that my children are opposed to my marriage; they don’t want me to remarry. What do I do?
Celestin.
 
Dear Celestin,

I believe your children love you as much as you love them and you both want the best for each other but let them not decide or tell you how to live your life.

You see all children are the same, it has been known for children to resist their parents’ partners when one of them is deceased, and they tend to think that life stops there. 

It’s unfortunate that their mother passed away, it was not your wish to be left a widower. To them this woman is just another enemy invading their territory, and who wants to take their fathers love away from them.

They are now trying to jealously protect you, not knowing that loneliness is killing you inside. First of all do not even treat this as a problem, its something very simple to deal with since all your children are grown ups.

Call all of them and make your point very clear to them. Tell them that she is the one you have chosen to spend the rest of your life with so they can do nothing to change your mind but also assure them that all will be well and that their mother is irreplaceable.

There are two things here; they can choose to accept your wife as their step-mother or respect her as your wife and partner. Ask for not more than that and let them decide on their own.

Whichever way they decide, respect their decisions and stand by your word. They should come home anytime they need to without any inhibition- after all it’s still their home.

Well is just as good they are adults let them reason out by themselves and am sure they will come to realize how unfair they have been.

In the meantime I urge you to go ahead with your plans of getting a partner who will return warmth and laughter in your house and in your life.

Ends