Having a gaslighting partner or friend is one thing, but having to be gaslighted at work can put a heavy toll on someone’s mental health.

Gaslighting at work is when a fellow employee or boss (the gaslighter) manipulates you to the point that you question your own sanity, memory, or perceptions. Gaslighting is a form of psychological manipulation. The gaslighter (the person doing the gaslighting) manipulates the gaslightee (the person being gaslighted) in a way that forces them to question their own version of events and even their own sanity.

Examples of Gaslighting can include:  being called too sensitive for trying to do the right thing at work or being questioned on your recollection of events.

Dan Munyuza, who works as a Customer Care Executive, says that gaslighters are the most insecure people and that is why they gaslight others.

"A colleague or boss will feel the need to gaslight you because they feel intimidated by you or your potential, and they do so to feel powerful and dominant over you. And they do so to make you doubt yourself or even question your sanity as a person,” he explains.

 Ariane Umuhire, who works in a soap manufacturing industry, says that some bosses at work use the gaslighting method to be able to control their employees.

"There are toxic bosses that never want to see their employees excel in what they do, and so they find ways to manipulate them and make them feel that they are always at fault, they find ways to undermine their confidence,” she says.

 According to an article by Better up, a platform to transform performance and growth for people, gaslighting seems to come more naturally to some people than others. In fact, not all gaslighters are aware of what they are doing. However, the term is used primarily when someone is consciously manipulating a friend, family member, or co-worker.

Signs of gaslighting in the workplace

A gaslighting situation at work can cause you to dread each week. This can prevent you from enjoying your personal life and even push you to look for a new job. The worst part is, that gaslighting by definition causes you to question your own experience, making it tough to seek help.

According to Better up’s article, these are some of the signs:

You hear persistent negative accounts off your performance, if you hear a persistent, unjustified negative narrative about your performance at work, you likely have a psychological abuser on your hands. A big sign of gaslighting in the workplace is a lack of healthy feedback.

You hear the suspected gaslighter publicly say negative things about you, it may simply be bullying. This is still not good for your mental health (or mental fitness) and is unacceptable in the workplace. However, if the comments made by your coworker make you question your own reality, then they may be gaslighting you. 

You hear negative, untrue gossip about yourself, One of the ways that gaslighters attack your sense of reality is by gossiping about you behind your back. By turning your fellow team members against you, the gaslighter can stay in control and make you feel like the bad guy. 

You find yourself questioning your perception of reality at work, If you feel filled with self-doubt after an encounter with your coworker, you’re probably experiencing gaslighting. 

The suspected gaslighter belittles your emotions, efforts, or perceptions, A common way that gaslighters make you doubt yourself is by belittling the effort you put into your work. 

How to deal with gaslighters at work

Document as much as you can. If things are recorded or in writing, they’re harder for gaslighters to manipulate, and you’ll have a reference to trust even if they try.

Tune in to your gut. That nervous, uncomfortable feeling gaslighting causes isn’t your imagination. It’s a warning from your brain, which senses danger on the basis of previous emotional experiences and memories.

Find supportive people to talk to and get perspective

Talk to your HR representative. Explain what gaslighting is and why you believe it is happening to you.

Tell the gaslighter upfront how he or she is making you feel. Gaslighters often don’t want their efforts to be found out, so if you verbalise what’s happening and make it clear you understand, they might stop.