Kali Gahiga recalls feeling very uncomfortable in her own skin. The excess weight she says she gained took a toll on her comfort and self-esteem. She yearned to lose the weight, but didn’t know how without opting for surgery.

She, therefore, enrolled for a course in life coaching in 2017 with Max Piccinini, a best-selling author and internationally renowned coach, and life coach Roger Lannoy, a partner to Anthony Jay Robbins, an American author, coach, speaker, and philanthropist.

Gahiga says that the course transformed her mind-set about life, self-love, acceptance, and believing in herself.

During the training, she was equipped with healthy tips to reduce weight, such as how to manage her diet, walk, and aqua gym. In two months, she lost 20 kgs, a thing that gave her confidence a boost.

On completing the training in 2019, Gahiga looked forward to sharing her life coaching skills with other people as she had no doubt this would transform their lives. The 62-year-old is now a life coach, based in Nyarutarama, who specialises in self-esteem.

Before she thought of taking on the course, Gahiga, stirred friends and the people around her to be positive, and appreciate themselves more.

The course enlightened her on how to approach people and walk with them on a journey of self-discovery. She believes that it’s impossible for someone to push themselves to do better, if they don’t believe in themselves.

According to the life coach, some of the most common issues that stimulate low self-esteem are longing to have what one lacks, such as money, love, good health, among others, yet doing completely nothing to get them. In the long run, they start comparing themselves to others, and that’s a thief of happiness.

"Some people feel less important because they haven’t achieved as much wealth or property as others,” Gahiga says.

She says that low self-esteem starts from a very young age when children are bullied in school, and as they grow, they believe that they can’t get anything good.

When children don’t have anyone to express their troubles to, for encouragement and assistance, they will keep everything to themselves, a thing that can affect their performance and interaction with others.

"It’s quite unfortunate that some parents are so busy that they don’t even spare some time to engage the children on what’s happening in their lives. If your children don't speak up about themselves, create an environment and mood that allows them to open up. It may even start with simple questions such as, "How was your day at school?” the life coach states.

Gahiga points out that some people’s self-esteem drops the moment they get married for the wrong reasons and pressure from relatives and society.

"If you married for money or selfish reasons, with time you will get bored and want more. This only leaves you dissatisfied. If you feel that your happiness will be fulfilled when you get married, then you’re wrong, because if you’re not happy single, you may not be happy while married too,” she says.

The life coach adds that when your confidence is low, you attract negativity. When you lack confidence, even when people laugh, you imagine they’re laughing at you. The menace of deflated self-esteem is that you don’t have goals because you don’t trust the fact that you can achieve them anyway, you put yourself down without a reason, she says.

For her, self-love starts from knowing who you are, what you want in life, and figuring out the state that you want to be, if not, seek means to change for the better and know the reason why you ought to change.

However, she explains that you can pull yourself up by jotting down on paper the things you love about yourself, and those that you dislike, and find solutions to curbing them. "Cutting off negativity is a process that starts from within.”

She urges surrounding oneself with positive people who boost morale, and push you to take on tasks that you think you can’t do on your own.

Gahiga offers services such as counselling, therapy, goal setting, career guidance, establishing work-life balance, decision making, and motivation.

Her mission is to assist people who want to make a difference by reaching their goals and becoming the best versions of themselves. 

She says that Rwandans haven’t adapted to life coaching sessions since it’s fairly new in the country, but she hopes that people get to know the meaning and the impact it can have on their lives.

Visit www.kalilifecoach.com for more information on life coaching.