• There was this guy at a bar, just looking at his drink. He stays like that for half of an hour.

Then, this big trouble-making truck driver steps next to him, takes the drink from the guy, and gulps it all down. The poor man starts crying. The truck driver says, "Come on man, I was just joking. Here, I’ll buy you another drink. I just can’t stand to see a man cry.”

"No, it’s not that. This day is the worst of my life. First, I fall asleep, and I go late to my office. My boss, fires me. When I leave the building, to my car, I found out it was stolen.

"I go home, and when I get there, I find my wife in bed with the gardener. I leave home, and come to this bar. And just when I was thinking about putting an end to my life, you show up and drink my poison.”

Who says men don’t remember anniversaries ?

• A woman awakes during the night to find that her husband was not in their bed.

She puts on her robe and goes downstairs to look for him. She finds him sitting at the kitchen table with a cup of coffee in front of him. He appears deep in thought, just staring at the wall. She watches as he wipes a tear from his eye and takes a sip of coffee.

"What’s the matter, dear?” she whispers as she steps into the room. "Why are you down here at this time of night?”

The husband looks up, "Do you remember 20 years ago when we were dating, and you were only 17?” he asks solemnly.

The wife is touched thinking her husband is so caring and sensitive. "Yes, I do,” she replies.

The husband pauses. The words are not coming easily. "Do you remember when your father caught us in the back seat of my car?”

"Yes, I remember,” says the wife, lowering herself into a chair beside him.

The husband continues...”Do you remember when he shoved a shotgun in my face and said, "Either you marry my daughter, or I will send you to jail for 20 years”.
"I remember that too”, she replies softly.

He wipes another tear from his cheek and says... "I would have gotten out today!”

QUOTES

"Because man and woman are the complement of one another, we need woman’s thought in national affairs to make a safe and stable government.”--Elizabeth Cady Stanton (1815-1902)

"People are like stained-glass windows. They sparkle and shine when the sun is out, but when the darkness sets in; their true beauty is revealed only if there is light from within.”
-Elisabeth Kübler-Ross (1926 - )

"Follow your instincts. That’s where true wisdom manifests itself.”
--Oprah Winfrey (1954 - )

"I leave you, hoping that the lamp of liberty will burn in your bosoms until there shall no longer be a doubt that all men are created free and equal.”--Abraham Lincoln (1809-1865)

Compiled BY LINDA MBABAZI