"At times like these, normally no one is supposed to be seated near those who perpetrated the Genocide. We really by the help of God overcame nature and have learnt to forgive and live with grief and the tragedy that befell us in the 1994 Genocide against the Tutsi,” Vidaste Ntaganira, a survivor.

On April 7, fifteen years ago the most horrific tragedy befell Rwanda and set a history that would never cease to be heard and be written on for many generations to come.

During the commemoration of the 1994 Genocide against the Tutsi, flags are flown at half mast, people look devastated, and thousands are gathered to begin the march.

The march begins. No one is ordered not to talk but no one is talking. It comes naturally. It could perhaps be a command from our dear ones who perished in the Genocide.

I have often heard a request for ‘a moment of silence’ to pay respect to the dead. But during this period, no one asks for it. Songs on the Genocide are heard playing either on cassettes or radios.

Even if you do not understand Kinyarwanda, the sorrowful rhythm tells it all. On gathering after the march, everyone finds a seat. No one seems to care about who he or she knows or doesn’t know.

Everyone seems far from what we merely see. It’s as if people have been taken by the spirits. Then comes his testimony that forces everyone to sulk with tears while others let them roll without any restraint.

Even if you meant to hold them. Vidaste Ntaganira’s world, like most of other survivors’, fell apart during that dreadful period and he still recalls.

"One morning we were informed that the president had died. I immediately sensed danger and moved out to hear what word was on the street. Not knowing things had already gone beyond just mere words that I expected, a group of boys already carried with them a list of those to slaughter.”

"Some boys and I had decided to go buy enough food to stock, but we changed direction. Most of them were Hutu.”

He says the same group came after him and the others. When they caught up with them at a place called Karabaye, Munira 2 in Nyakabanda, they asked them to identify themselves.

"One of the gang members tried to wrestle me down while the rest hit me badly.”

They threw a grenade at him, hitting his back with it but with God’s mercy it didn’t explode. They let him go, knowing they would find him later.

"When I reached home, I pulled out old papers where I fortunately found the president’s photos and decorated the whole house with them.”

Earlier, he says, his wife had come with a certain cloth from a relative. A similar cloth to that that would later be used as the Genocidal interahamwe’s uniform. He and his wife, at the time didn’t know. He says it was just a coincidence that his wife bought the cloth.

When the interahamwe came to killed him and his family, they found the place favourably decorated, a thing that convinced them that he sympathized with them. They left.

But later on, he says that everyone was ordered to move out of the house and that whoever resisted  would be dealt with accordingly.

"That’s when we were taken to the Pentecostal church and told to lie still and kiss the sand. On my side, a woman burnt to ashes after they had poured petrol on her and set her ablaze, lay motionless. I got so scared. I however realised it was the order of the day when another old woman was laced with a vehicle tire and set ablaze in our presence.”

He continued his testimony saying that later on, a group led by a soldier appeared with a boy and a pastor. They called the pastor a Tutsi, which he denied.

"In my heart I decried who I was and wished I never existed.”

"I told the pastor to pray but he told me he had done enough praying.” The boy was shot in the back of the head and died on the spot.

"The whole thing was unbearable and at times I wished it was me they shot. Killing you with a bullet was among the best options when compared to torture, burning and hacking with machetes which were their favourite killing techniques.” He says he tried to wave off the kids who watched in disbelief.

"I wondered what pain my pregnant wife would go through. Stories from other places revealed that pregnant women’s stomachs were cut open and the foetus removed. I knew I would never set eyes on her and the kid.”

He says that they were taken to one Kayiranga’s place and assembled for shooting. However, a man who had seen the decorations in his house appeared and let him off the hook. Those who managed to pay money were set free while the rest were killed.

"Mutali, a neighbour, was also later killed. A horrible man entered a nearby house and threw a kid out for the dogs to eat. When the kid cried out that dogs were eating him, the man replied, ‘My dogs only eat Tutsis.’”

He says a girl whose parents had just been hacked to death came running while shouting, ‘I am not Tutsi’ but she was stabbed to death too.

"So many others were brutally killed while we watched in hiding together with my wife.”

Later, after many days had past, he says Inkotanyi (the Rwanda Patriotic Front) came to their rescue. They assembled at Rafiki.

"When we were told, we couldn’t believe but thank God it was true. They asked us where the Interahamwe were.”

"I thank RPF who saved us. I can never get enough to show them my gratitude. I pray they always protect this nation and pray such horrible terror never comes back. Fifteen years now is enough for me to live again and tell what befell us. I do not ask forgiveness for what I say whether it points at anyone here. God will judge us all.”  

Yes, fifteen years now is enough for Ntaganira to live again and tell what befell Rwandans. We should listen to his story while embracing the new spirit of hope.

Ends