Relationships are handwork. Notice the work part. That doesn’t mean it can not be done. It just means it is not automatic. It takes work and dedication to keep a good relationship. It’s not always the fairy tale that ends "…and they lived happily ever after.”

If they did live happily ever after, they worked at it. The work is always worth it. We live in a diversified world, a world where relationships are not limited to space or time. It is easy to meet and build relationships with very different people from you.

No matter who you love they are worth fighting for. So be ready because times will come when the differences will seem bigger than similarities but even then your zeal to make it work will keep you together. Use what you have in common to fight off differences that threaten to tear you apart.

The reason why relationships from different cultures, races fail is because of outside interference. Take away all the family interference, cultural brainwashing and fear and you have two people who connected and love each other. That is the only thing that matters. The two of you.

Relationships break because they are mostly founded on ignorance. It’s not enough to just know basics about the person. You need to know the person’s needs, wants, desires, and dreams.

You need to understand why someone does things the way they do them and what pushes them to fight for the goals that they hold dear to them.

Being vulnerable with someone you are in a relationship with is an essential part of relationship growth. Allow yourself to just be you when you are around that person you are in love with.

Let them know what hurts and disappoints you and let them be the point of solace when you need a shoulder to cry on. Honour them with the chance of knowing even the not so brave part of you.

In such a time as this as we commemorate the 1994 Genocide against the Tutsi you will need your loved ones around you. Share your hurt and pain as a result of your loss and love your partner enough to let them be there for you.

No one can ever replace those you lost but this should not be a reason for you to close out those who love and cherish you. Let’s share and receive love during this time and provide the shoulder to lean on for those who will need us to be strong for them during these hard moments. Let love prevail.

Email pgathoni@gmail.com