The pandemic is changing a lot of things. Relationships and marriages have not been spared too. Especially for those couples who are staying together, these past two years have been hectic.
Take Vanette and Pax for example. The couple has experienced a range of mixed emotions during the entire pandemic.
Before the pandemic, they say they had beautiful moments; they had plenty of fun things to do like going out, clubbing, and even the ones they had at home were not boring.
But their stay at home changed a lot of things. The couple came short of games they could play, Vanette cooked every recipe she knew by heart and those from YouTube channels, they argued a lot and about small things, even their sexual life was getting boring. Their relationship was on the verge of breaking but luckily their strong communication and compatibility saved it all.
Innocent Kabera, a counsellor says during such times, it’s important for a couple to accept their differences, especially for those who have been together for so long.
A common illusion that destroys couples is that our mates are responsible for our happiness. Since human nature leaves every person on the planet somewhat imperfect and unable to truly love unconditionally, it would be impossible for anyone to completely meet our needs, even if they wanted to try, he says.
"Such high expectations are unrealistic and unattainable and lead to frustrations. I am saying this because this time of the pandemic, you are going to stay with your partner for so long and you are going to see his/her true self, all you will need is to learn to accept the colours of your differences,” he adds.
Here are a few other tips to help a relationship stay afloat regardless of the pandemic;
Try new things
This is the time for you to think out of the box. You should do something new like planning dates within the parameters of your house. This will create a thrill between you as a couple, and even though it is within the same walls, it will remind you of the previous good times you have had together.
And for married couples with children, it is okay to include your little ones too in everything fun like planning a game night, as it brings you closer to each other.
You are going to get annoyed, talk about it
Staying at home 24/7, you may notice things your partner does that you didn’t notice before because of the less time you used to spend together. If he leaves the towel wherever he wants, talk to him about it and if she is becoming obsessed with her talk shows, talk to her about it instead of keeping it in, and let the annoyance get to anger. Address it in a way that’s inviting and shows that you notice your partner.
Learn to take a break from each other
This doesn’t mean that you are going to ignore each other. All you have to know is that the more people are together, the more they find reasons to hate each other. They will get bored and so on. You will have to sit down and plan to have like 30 minutes apart where everyone will be on their own and later meet again as it used to be after work in the evening.
Physical touch is important
It is not necessary to get sexual every minute because you can get bored out of it, but engage into other physical connections, keep your cuddles, kisses, touches… alive. This has a profound effect on your emotional connection.
Keep your children busy
For couples with children, it can be hard to get intimate time for you, find your ways of keeping your children busy if you have them, this will also bring you closer. Routines are what bring boredom. Try inventing new routines.