My mother recently became President of her hometown’s Rotary Club, and I was so thrilled. I would have mentioned the name of the Rotary club but coming from a village so deep, it may not be listed on Google Maps. My mum is the strongest 72-year-old I’ve come across and very seldom do we hear people making plans for when they turn 70, but here she was, despite it all, wearing the 2021-2022 Rotary President medal.

Somehow when we think of our functional life, we don’t see much happening after 60 because well, that is how life has taught us. Not my mother. She has always done things differently and gone with the flow that life threw at her. It is no surprise that ‘life’ for her began after 60.  

Coincidentally, the same week my mother got elected, I got a new and exceptional saxophone student. I am so excited about her because she will turn 50 in a few months, and she is determined to learn and perfect the skill by then. I can’t emphasize how inspired I am by her zeal to take on something new and tough.

I watch her in admiration when she struggles to adjust the saxophone strap to fit her strap and blow the sound out. All this, without a sense of despair or threats to give up. I cannot recall how many times I gave up during my beginning days as a saxophone player. Yet, here she is, in her late 40s, determined to play this powerful instrument. Please note, she has a busy job and family to tend to, so she is not exactly as free as you may imagine. She makes my "what is your excuse” question appear in my dreams much more frequently these days.   

Normally, we live life in such a hurry, playing catch up, that we have stopped enjoying it. We spend our mornings and evenings planning and checking off chores, meetings on and off of the calendar that before we know it, two years have gone by without too much to show for it. If any of these two experiences have taught me anything, it is that we should slow life down a little to remember what’s personally important to us, be it spending time with our families, travelling, etc. 

Most of us had our lives so planned: to get married, have our firstborn children in school, and acquire assets before 40. But this is a very unrealistic sequence, and it is no wonder ‘top 40 under 40’ really doesn’t make sense in a truthful (African) setting. These little expectations we have set for our lives have messed up generations to the extent that some people are battling with mental illnesses simply because they didn’t ‘have it together’ or ‘are not on track to have it together’ by 40.

So what if the marriage works but the baby takes its time and arrives ten years later? Does that make you less of a human being? What if the career breaks through and starts taking off after hitting 35? Age aside, is this less or more common to today’s generation? Why not inspire the next generations with the truth – that life sometimes needs more resilience before arriving at a comfortable destination?

Society seems to exacerbate the situation, of course, since from childhood, we are compared to our peers and relatives regarding physical and behavioral growth, educational growth and achievement, and some other criteria. Honestly, if you don’t control and discipline yourself, you might end up living in an invisible competition all of your life, and what a waste that would be! So let’s celebrate the big and small wins because life only gives us a few moments to celebrate. And most importantly, let’s not limit our functional lives to end at 60 or after retirement as there is so much more if we remain open-minded.