No one falls in love expecting to be in a toxic or unhealthy relationship. A healthy and secure romantic relationship can be a great source of joy for a couple, that’s why it’s almost everyone’s dream to build a beautiful and fine relationship.

Challenge comes with understanding what this looks like and what can be done to build such a relationship.

Marriage counsellor, Robinah Ziwa, says that it doesn’t take perfect people to build a healthy relationship.

What matters is understanding your strengths, but most importantly, your weaknesses and deal with that, she says.

"In relationships, love is crucial but trust and respect matter very much as well. When a couple wants to build a healthy relationship, first thing they need is to understand and treat each other as individuals. Some people change or want to change others thinking that’s how a relationship can work, but this isn’t right,” she says.

Healthy relationships allow people to be themselves. "We all deserve people who are willing to love us the way we are. If you have to change your identity or likes and dislikes in order to make your partner happy, then you need to reconsider your relationship.”

The counsellor adds that as a couple, it’s important to accept each other for who you are, rather than trying to change each other. "This is one of the signs of a healthy relationship. You should always be your own person, and a relationship or marriage shouldn’t change that.”

David Mutaganzwa has been married for seven years now. He says marriage has taught him that falling in love is the easier part in a relationship, however, it’s the staying-in-love part that’s most challenging, and that this is where the line is drawn when it comes to defining what’s healthy in a relationship.

"Most relationships start out healthy, but as time goes by and people get used to each other, they at times take themselves for granted, that they can even become toxic without actually knowing it,” he says.

He, however, says it’s vital to take note of how a relationship makes you feel; this is how you know if you are in a healthy relationship or not.

When your partner consistently makes you feel drained or unhappy, this is a sure sign that your relationship isn’t healthy. It could be the constant fights or lack of trust issues causing this, if you fail to settle this as a couple, this can be a good sign that you need to change things, Mutaganzwa says.

The line between healthy and unhealthy relationships can at times be very thin, according to Jolly Akariza, a psychology student, but it’s an individual’s role to keep aware of their feelings and constantly be aware of what’s happening around them.

What defines any healthy relationship should include mutual love and respect, being supportive of each other and also, having clear boundaries.

Akariza also says that communication is crucial in building and maintaining healthy relationships.

"Without this, your partner can never know what makes you happy or uncomfortable. It’s, therefore, very important to always have open and respectful communication.”

She also adds that flexibility matters too. "When you have a disagreement or conflict, you shouldn’t rush to make conclusions. Remember people are imperfect and things cannot always be smooth in a relationship. Besides, different people have different experiences in life, this of course is bound to cause differences. As a couple, you are likely to make each other angry or hurt each other. Communicate your feelings with your partner and seek to resolve matters amicably.”