Young author on how writing helped her fight depression
Thursday, December 24, 2020
Sandra Nadege Uwayezu during an interview at The New Times. / Photo: Craish Bahizi

17-year-old Sandra Nadege Uwayezu was born with a light skin pigment and somewhat white hair, which made her look like an albino, although she wasn’t actually one. 

Growing up, she says, was tough, especially school, where some students constantly made fun of her. Because of this, she felt it was easier to isolate herself, and so she became a loner at school. It turned out that even the few who occasionally tried to be friends with her, did it out of pity. 

Uwayezu says she spent most of her childhood wondering why people mocked her, something that shattered her already fragile self-esteem.

She can’t recall how many times she had to answer the irritating incessant, ‘did you dye your hair’ question when meeting people for the first time.

Her own reflection didn’t seem to please her, maybe because she’d never heard anyone appreciate her for who she was. 

This raised doubt, and eventually, depression. The kind of depression that she never bothered to open up about, to anyone. Not even her parents.

With all this going on, she was bright in class and performed well, and everyone considered her intelligent, but if asked to take a walk in her shoes, she suspected they wouldn’t manage.

In her lonely days, she cried a lot. The depression escalated, so much that she developed suicidal thoughts. On many occasions, she tried killing herself, but the small voice inside her reminded her to focus on her dreams.

With no counselling, Uwayezu started healing through a passion to write that she’d developed. She focused on writing.

Unfortunately, she didn’t know English well, and couldn’t express herself in the language, but while in senior one, she decided it was time to learn, and focused on teaching herself English.

She was given a dictionary and novels by Imbuto Foundation that assisted her in learning how to read and write.

Before long, she was fluent in English. She started writing poems in 2018. But then, her worry was writing something personal, as she ‘feared exposing herself to the world’.

Uwayezu’s first poem was titled, ‘The story of Africa’, it was inspired by the beauty, culture, food, and the people of Africa.

She later wrote others like, ‘Need for novelty’, ‘Bring a rose’, ‘Infinite loop’, ‘Modern you’, ‘African Child’, ‘Fall in love with poetry’, and more.

The youngster called her first collection of poems ‘First Creation’. She currently has about 50 poems on Amazon.

Poetry has been her transformation journey, to push her beyond the barrier of self-doubt, and also enable her to accept healing.

The author notes that through poetry, she has developed hopes for the future, and has expectations of fulfilling her dreams.

To her, poetry has taught her empathy, love, openness, and understanding people.

This year, she started writing a book, when she discussed it with the publisher, she was advised that writing about herself would really make a good story. The publisher impelled her to open up.

Early this year, she started writing a book about herself titled, "Light in the dark” that she believes will be out in January 2021.

She believes this is the starting point of her writing journey and she loves reality as opposed to fiction.

When she’s not writing, she spends most of her time singing, dancing, or reading.

The poet enjoys reading books about thrillers when in a jovial mood, but when stressed, she prefers romantic books.

Uwayezu discovered true friendship when she joined the Writers Space Africa- Rwanda (WSA), a group that grooms young people about writing.

Having friends that love her for who she, not out of pity, she says, has empowered her to discover her purpose in life.

Uwayezu is the second born of five children. She is a senior six graduate of College Saint André, Nyamirambo.

She is looking forward to pursuing a Bachelors in Supply Chain Management and Logistics at university.

Although she is not fully healed, Uwayezu is certain that writing is therapy, with time, she says, will be completely okay.