What a year!

2020 has wounded us in different ways. I have even failed to pinpoint one major category of pain to focus on. There have been all sorts of losses this year. Several people lost their sources of income, theft cases have insanely increased due to the unemployment levels (I came to understand). I’m, however, still trying to comprehend how unemployment made cars (read Toyota cars) become so vulnerable and easily broken into, no actually, easily opened by strangers. With keys. 

So much to the extent that nowadays, when you go to a new neighbourhood or supermarket, it is safer to carry all your property (laptop bag, saxophone, shoes, and water bottle) on your back, lest someone cleans out your Toyota (again).

But that wasn’t all. This year sadly robbed us of so many loved ones. Some succumbed to Covid-19, while others to different illnesses and accidents, but the pandemic made each loss experienced twice as painful. The hustle that one had to go through to travel and send off their loved ones (before all airports re-opened) is a (sad) story for another day.

Personally, this year will always be the one that took away my wonderful big sister, Queen, a beautiful soul that I had last seen months ago, thanks to the pandemic. Loss in itself is paralyzing 💔, but grieving while fighting all sorts of forces of nature, including Covid-19, is emotionally draining. 

If one lost a loved one, but they were ‘lucky’ the loss didn’t involve travel (since it’s a year of choosing one’s death, really), chances are they didn’t receive comfort hugs or have any physical support from their friends as they saw the deceased off, thanks to Covid-19.

To crown it all, 2020 has robbed us of our childhood fantasy, Christmas. Christmas is a lot of things, but for many of us, it’s the family time in our respective village homes. It’s the balloons and sweets hanging off a Christmas tree. It is Christmas carols blaring off the airwaves. It is going out of the way to pull off festive season decorations (thanks to Kigali City, this part is very well covered), and so much more. Back where I was raised, things even get a little extra. It isn’t uncommon to find passenger taxis (twegerane) decorated with Christmas lights and the streets filled with people from all walks of life going to different recreational facilities to ‘eat their money’ during the festive season. Oh, how we looked forward to this! Some of us even saved money the entire year only to spend it during this happy period.

Not this year, though. We might have the money to be ‘eaten’- but unfortunately, we’ll have to eat it with our masks on, while sitting meters from each other and washing our hands with alcohol every few minutes. Oh, we must be home by 8 pm as well (I don’t even know how to feel about this). Travelling to see the older folks has to be minimised because how would you forgive yourself for being the official carrier of Covid-19 to your grandmother and her neighbours. Leave alone the fact that after calculating the costs involved in travel right now, one would instead invest in a small plot of land out of the city. 

The ‘festive’ season is upon us but finds us with heavy hearts, pain from the past, and a longing for better things in 2021. However, in my not so many years on earth, I have seen good and bad seasons but what stood out is that usually, horrible times precede the most exciting times. 

So this Christmas may not be the merriest, and we might be so worried that the New Year won’t be so happy either because we have all developed post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). But I’d say, let’s keep holding onto the hope that the unseen things ahead will be better. Ending a year in which remaining alive and sane is an achievement, I’d say we even pat ourselves on the back for making it this far.

I wish you an okay, safe Christmas and a surprisingly good new year ahead!

PS: Pass by Serena Hotel this festive season so that we can add the merry to your Christmas with smooth saxophone melodies.