One of the best footballers of our time wants out of Barcelona, the club he has given just about everything and vice versa. After 20 years, it's time for both parties to move on.
Rumour has it that Messi's sights are set on English Premier League side Manchester City, with many speculating that he has long been wanting to reunite with his former coach Pep Guardiola since the former Barcelona Manager quit in 2012.
Well, here is some unsolicited advice for the ‘Little Magician’. If you really want a fresh start as per your transfer request, then cut all ties with your past and move to the best division in Sub-Saharan Africa, the one and only Rwanda Premier League. Aren't you tired of all the drama, pressure and media scrutiny because that's what signing for the club you're being linked with would ensure. You'd be swapping brutal media for intrusive coverage.
They will hound you and scrutinise your every move and their back pages will carry nothing but screamers of how the EPL is hard to crack and then give you a play-by-play of Cristiano's exploits at United and it will be the tired Greatest Of All Time (G.O.A.T) debate all over again.
Surely, you must be over that and rightly so. A player of your calibre deserves respect and that's exactly what you'll get at whichever Rwandan club you choose to sign for, and you will be spoilt for choice with at least 16 to pick from. Well, with the exception of one that recently set an age cap for recruits but then again, you're Messi and any club would be lucky to have you.
I will not bore you with individual club history or statistics but if you come down here, you can try out a couple and settle where you most feel at ease. At this point, I don't think it's about money for you. I suspect it's about cementing your legacy and you will if you decide to make the move.
Best part of playing here? Great food and warm weather most of the year. Plus, the press is a lot nicer. For the most part, we have a "What happens in Europe stays in Europe" approach so believe us when we say this will be a new chapter. Obviously, you have thousands of adoring fans but rest assured that your privacy will be respected.
Pitch invaders and fans accosting you at every turn for autographs? Yeah that doesn't happen too often. We can't promise that you'll get to pick your teammates every time but if you talk to the right people in the federation, maybe they'll let you build your own youthful side post retirement and impart the "Messi Philosophy" at will.
Just so you know, our domestic league resumes late October, meaning you still have some time to enjoy the rest of your Summer break. Your wife and kids will love it here too as there's no shortage of activities to keep you all occupied. Beaches, Play Parks, we've got it all and also some truly unique experiences like gorilla trekking. Lots of investment opportunities as well in ICT, Education Infrastructure, Real Estate and many other sectors so this may in fact turn out to be much more than just a career move and so we urge you to seize the opportunity.
We have kind of moved on from faxes though but you can text or call our people to submit your transfer request. Or do a quick #VisitRwanda search on whatever social media platform. Most, if not all your questions will be answered.
Don't sleep on this Messi. Could be your only chance to play in our beautiful country Rwanda.
Views expressed in this article are of the author