Traditionally, marriage was a very important cultural institution in Rwanda. It was unheard of in the early days for a girl to walk into the man’s home before bride price was cleared.

This was usually officiated during gusaba (introduction) ceremony, the event that was not only held in high esteem by families of both the girl and boy but also the entire society.

Gusaba till today is still characterised by a battle of wits and cultural tongue-twisting between representatives of the two sides who engage each other in hide and seek games, reciting one’s lineage and riddles, questions about old norms and traditions among others.

Though paying bride price that included cows, goats or beer was highly valued, the family’s uprightness and honesty was one of the criterions that was followed before welcoming the boys’ side. The bride wealth paid differed from group to group and from family to family within a society.

As such, bride price was a source of wealth and girl children were much valued. The wealth would normally be shared among the girl’s principal relatives.

However, it is said that it was taboo to sell any animals/wealth given as bride price. Ibitaramo, which literally means evening gatherings were very symbolic and were some of the ways men and women hooked themselves or their daughters and sons marriage partners.

It was the initial step to get to know people’s background.
Grace Mutabazi, in charge of culture preservation under ministry of youth, culture and sports says Ibitaramo, comprised debates about Rwandan culture and was very fundamental in day to day lives of Banyarwanda.

And it is through such gatherings that people of a particular locality would know each other. Such meetings were held in a bid to enforce fundamental values and to prepare a sound society comprising of men and women of integrity.

Ibitaramo were necessary to protect the culture in order to keep intact, by guarding against any factor that can erode some of the cultural values embedded within Rwandan norms.

Traditional wedding

A person known as Umuranga interacts between the future son in- law and the bride to be. Essentially, the role of this person is to act as a go-between and to make sure that the bride to be must be upright and God fearing so that she makes a perfect house wife.

Other roles of Umuranga is to make underground clandestine research to find out whether there was any thing unusual running within the lineage of the bride to be, such as lunacy, epilepsy.

He would find out whether the family has never been involved in any scandals of theft, witch-craft, and several other ills that characterize any one community.

After these lengthy findings, the bachelor’s father or any other special envoy appointed by the family, in case the bachelor’s father happens to have died, goes to the girl’s father to announce the intention of his son to marry the daughter.

If the father of the girl accepts, arrangements are made as to when the process of introduction would be taking place, thereby ascertaining a particular date to come.

Here, traditional booze is carried for the first time; the girl’s family has consented as well as the people in the neighbourhood since children were owned communally and therefore every one was responsible for children welfare even in marriage.

After a lengthy request by the person representing the bachelor’ father (Umuranga), the boy is accepted as the bridegroom to- be and applauses normally follows, in appreciation.

Another phase of asking as to when the dowry(imano) will be paid follows by going to the girl’s home with local beer which had to be banana beer traditionally known as (Urwagwa) and sorghum beer traditionally known as (Ikigajye). After booking the girl, (gufat’izambo), it is now clear that the girl is for the boy.

A date is agreed upon by both two parents, and thereby bringing a dowry by the bachelor’s parents, which must be strictly a cow, or more than one cow depending on the economic status of a bachelor’s father which of course must be in the same economic footing like that of a spinster’s family, as the saying goes in Kinyarwanda (Ngo ibisa birasabirana) which literally means that people of the same economic status become in- laws.

This is followed by another request by the bachelor’s parents as to when the wedding would be taking place, mark you local beer is taken to the future in- laws and after knowing the specific date, preparations for the wedding start.

Before marriage, a girl spends a month or so in seclusion being looked after by her auntie briefing, her on how manage her future family. She would go under intensive care including being smeared all over her body with cow-ghee for a softer and smooth skin.

Traditionally, on the day of the wedding, a bride would be carried in a traditional carrier known as ingobyi with two handles which would be placed on the shoulders of two strong men ready to transport the bride to her bride groom.

During this period, girls of the same age as the bride to- be would be busy crying saying that their age mate is leaving them, and the bride would also be crying citing the same words of leaving her relatives, and joining new strange family.

Finally after arriving at her bridegroom’s place, she would be taken inside and a special banquet in the honor of both the bridegroom and the bride would proceed.

The banquet would include various aspects, among others, introducing of boozing only, dancing and singing traditional Kinyarwanda songs.

Traditional songs would finally end in another function known as (Gutwikurura), which means uncovering, thereby giving the couple the authority to start daily activities.

Thereafter, there would follow an act of giving the visitors from the girl’s side their spears, and booze known as Agashingura cumu - booze authorizing them to depart so as to deliver the message from the father- in- law of the bride.

Another act that would follow would be officially visiting the bride’s home, and receiving a warm welcome by the mother and father- in- law and the brothers and sisters in laws, and other relatives, including the well wishers.

But before Gutwikurara, the two families would contribute financial support in a pool form and pass it to their children as a start up capital for them and their off- springs.

Gusaba today

According to Rwandan culture, a man to take ones daughter for keeps usually has to part away with following: cows, local, beer, soft drinks and hoe.

If one doesn’t have a cow, he gives the animal in form of money. The brideroom’s side gets a spokesperson on the side of the bride and gives him money. He then goes back to his people and declares that the boy’s father has cows and has seen them with his own eyes.

However, as modernity smiles its tempting face on destructing culture, few people if any can really say with final certainty that the above is still done.

Mutabazi notes that some of the elements that comprised the traditional wedding are no longer in existence, as culture is some sort of a guideline, that doesn’t necessarily mean that it has to remain static.

She says the beauty of modern marriage is that the constitution protects women’s rights unlike in the past where a man had the last word on everything in the family.

It is in this respect therefore that the elements that are not suitable have been eliminated, and replaced by more valuable ideas that might impact positively on the society.

Unlike in the old days where marriage could not be honoured without the parents’ blessing, today it’s common. Marriage was not basically about material benefits but the lineage in which the person was coming from, yet nowadays, the man’s financial capacity speaks volumes.

Timothy Kimonyo a resident of Rukara, Kayonga District in Eastern Province is 75-year-old. He has been hired for several times during the marriage introduction ceremonies to speak on behalf of the boy’s family.

Kimonyo says it is better to maintain the culture of offering bride wealth but it should be with one’s economic status. It should just symbolic and signifies respect towards the parents of the girls.

The preparations for any traditional or today introduction ceremony are tiring and trying financially, physically and mentally as you wonder why you have to fulfill a lot of traditional must do requirements.

After going through the tussles of agreeing with the lady to form a family together and which areas and issues to compromise on, getting to the Gusaba stage seems like you just begun on the relationship.

At the beginning, you have to go and see one of the lady’s aunties, the one she has chosen to act. According to Kimonyo, boys tended to marry at a slightly late age, between eighteen and twenty years, while girls could be married off between fourteen and sixteen years of age. Today, it is a different story all together.

Marriages often occurred before a girl was lost her virginity unlike today where the introduction hinges education and monetary factor.

The spokesman either in old days or today plays a central role since he takes the role of the final emissary on the day of introduction and he has to pull a lot of antics learned from tradition and experience to engage or answer challenges from the other side’s spokesman.
 

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