I was in a conversation with a friend about attitude and perception. The impact that one’s advice has on us is fully dependent on how we perceive that person’s advice, and the altitude we will go shall be determined by our attitude.

A few years ago a young lady came to me claiming her husband was having an affair with a woman in the organisation I was working with. We had interacted for a while but on social media, so when she found out about the husband’s affair she wanted to know if I knew the woman. Sadly, I didn’t because it was a place with hundreds of employees. By the time she contacted me she had hitched a plan. She was going to walk into that company seek out the husband’s lover, yell, scream, embarrass her and walk away. So I asked what aspect in that plan would spare her husband, his relatives and herself an equal share of embarrassment. She thought about it for a minute and realised things could actually become worse. That was the beginning of a few sessions that helped salvage her relationship. The outcome of the sessions was attributed to her positive attitude and the personal will to make her marriage work.

In any life situation if you ask someone for advice yet you are not prepared to listen or implement, it becomes difficult for circumstances to change. How you perceive their approach, tone and words will push you to either embrace the good that comes out of it, or you’ll say that person does not like you, hence, let a learning opportunity pass you by.

When faced with an obstacle, do you consult your childhood experiences and decide you are not going to overcome this obstacle, because you were born in that environment or do you look back and decide to strive to overcome it if only to prove to yourself that you can actually do better?

We go through different situations in life, some tough others bearable; one thing is constant — none of those experiences is in vain. I once observed a small group of people chatting for about an hour, and as their hearty laughter faded off, I could see them thankful for a new flame had come alight. They were feeling much better about themselves and now even more determined to become people of substance and ensure they leave a mark on the path they walk. These people were obviously not seeing each other for the first time, but I figured they never felt the way they did on that day because for once, they were more inclined to take each other’s criticism and advice with grace and positivity. It’s the state of mind that needed to change, for everything else to change.

There is a popular English adage; your attitude determines your altitude. I love to use our health as an example, the body responds to what you communicate to the brain. If you tell the brain I am going to make it through this expedition it gets the body to cooperate and make sure the expedition is fulfilled. Whatever we get out of life is equivalent to our investment in it. What and how much are you investing in life, especially attitude wise?