As the country continues to commemorate the 1994 Genocide against the Tutsi during lockdown, experts feel that parents or guardians should use the time to instil in young ones good morals and values.

They believe that teaching children the history of the country and what happened 26 years ago is imperative, so as to raise children who are well informed and who will do all it takes to maintain peace and unity.

Jean Damas Muhire, a parent and member of GAERG, says for the past years during the commemoration period, he didn’t take his kids to the commemoration ceremony as ‘he didn’t want them to be confused about what happened’.

However, he realised he has the responsibility to pass on the right information, and this year, he started enlightening them on the 1994 Genocide against the Tutsi.

The father of three children, aged between two and 10, says he does so depending on the age of the child.

For instance, recently, he informed them about the commemoration period and how they have to do it at home.

He says he gave them an assignment to illustrate what they think the 1994 Genocide against the Tutsi was.

The kids picked flowers and lit candles, and placed them close to their illustrations.

"We had a commemoration day at home, and everyone prepared their writings, including myself and my wife. Everyone lit a candle and lay it next to the flowers.

"Those who know about the Genocide had to talk about what comes to mind when they remember. For the kids, the idea was to share their thoughts,” he says.

He says that the two older children said they remember and salute the innocent people slaughtered during the Genocide. 

He later gave them time to ask questions and responded in a way that they would understand.

One child drew houses and when asked about it, he said it was because of all the houses destroyed during the Genocide.

The oldest one wrote that Tutsis were killed by Hutus, which stemmed from the hatred and discrimination that colonisation had brought. 

Muhire says all this gave him a clear picture of where and how to start.

Olivier Mazimpaka, a leadership and sustainability lecturer at University of Rwanda, feels that there is no proper methodology to be used in formal education when it comes to teaching our children about the 1994 Genocide against the Tutsi.

Mazimpaka, who is also a parent, says this instead should be done in a normal way, for instance, he says parents should base on the values of life; how do they transmit other values of being truthful and honest in everything they do or say?

Emmanuella Mahoro, a psychologist and parent, says because of the curiosity among children regarding the Genocide, it’s important for parents to start teaching them what it means and how it happened.

She says this will, however, depend on the age of the child, and that open dialogue on what happened is important.

However, she says parents should always ensure that they talk more and incorporate in the conversation the good story of unity and ndi umunyarwanda, the good take of the Rwandan government, and also reconciliation.

"Commemoration is a good time to teach our children the good values like love, respect for one another but above all, unity,” she says.

She, however, cautions that parents need to be careful when it comes to the age of children, adding that for the younger ones, telling them basics and ‘light’ information is important.

She explains that the reason is that those children at a younger age always ask questions out of curiosity, and that giving them clarifications on what they have asked is important rather than giving them detailed information that is hard for them to digest.

Other approaches

Egide Gatari, the president of GAERG, says parents and guardians should protect children from negative perceptions in general.

He says they should focus on telling the true story of the Genocide committed against the Tutsi, but in ways children will understand.

"Positive education from positive citizens with the right information and good morals is the foundation of this nation,” he says.

Muhire says it’s important for parents to educate their children starting from what they know, and what they learn from ‘outside’ and then address it the right way. It’s ideal to consider their age and guide them accordingly. 

He goes on to advise parents to carry out continual check-ups on what their children have learned about the Genocide. They should set aside family time and talk about it together.  

"In order to prepare a generation free from genocide ideology, parents should reinforce communication with kids,” Muhire highlights.

Challenges

Mazimpaka says it is hard, especially for survivors, to talk about everything that happened without re-opening wounds.

Many of them suffer trauma, making recollection of what they went through a terrifying ordeal.

There is also a challenge when it comes to talking about the background of ethnic groups.

"Here, children tend to ask questions about the names of families and cousins, if they were from a certain ethnicity, and parents are always found in a dilemma when it comes to answering this,” he says.

Because of this, he says it’s important for the parents to focus more on teaching their kids how to avoid hatred, grudges and any other morals that are not good, as well as refraining from classifying people based on their ethnicity.

"To be able to educate children well, first of all, parents should have the content of what happened. In most cases, you may find parents don’t have the true version of what happened, they lack the right information, thus making the whole process of educating their young ones a hard one,” says.

"I believe if we don’t teach our children about the magnitude of these ideologies, later on, they might be victims of the same,” he says.

By imparting moral values, parents play a dominant role in moulding the attitude and approach of the children in their life.