Parenting is more than just fathering or mothering a child. Children who grow up with proper parenting turn out to be different from those that didn’t. Effective parenting is defined as the ability to interact and engage with children in a way that they learn and grow into remarkable adults. It takes daily effort to connect with children on an expressive and personal level. This is how;

Boost your child’s self-esteem. Praising accomplishments, however minor, will make them feel proud; allowing them do things independently enables them be capable and strong. Your tone of voice, your body language, and your every expression are absorbed by your kids. Your words and actions as a parent affect their developing self-esteem more than anything else. Avoid statements that might affect a child, for instance, "you are stupid,” "that is so immature of you”, "you are good for nothing” and so forth.

Children are just little angels that are in the processing of learning everything. All they need is guidance, and showing them their mistakes and how they go about them, but do not reprimand them when in wrong.

Choose your words carefully and be compassionate. Let your kids know that everyone makes mistakes and that you still love them.

Spare time with the little ones. However busy your schedule is, if there is no time spent with your kids to discuss anything and everything, then you might lose out on the openness and friendship with them. Meal time would be a good period to discuss their day, plans, school and much more. Alternatively, you can read a book with them in the free time you get with them. This helps you bond with them more. You can also do together activities that they love most, it can be painting, playing football, watching cartoons and so forth.

Discipline is key. Raising kids that are disciplined should be a must as discipline helps kids know which behaviours are right or wrong, and it gives them a chance to learn self-control. That is why limits are necessary because they help them grow and be accountable. If kids know the specific time they have to watch the screen or do their homework every single day, then they will not need to be reminded. However, the rules have to be consistent, because if they are followed just one or two days and stopped, they will be forgotten.

Know your limitations as a parent. You are human and make mistakes, find ways of moving past your weakness, and love your spouse, children and family members. Children raised without love grow up depressed and cannot also love others because they don’t know what love means. You can’t give what you don’t have. Also, recognise your abilities and use them for the betterment of your home. Vow to work on your weaknesses. For example, if you are the bitter parent, change because children will start fearing you.  Create an environment of happiness, jokes, opinions and learning. 

Be a good role model. From the way you talk, behave, that is what kids emulate, especially if they are younger. Model the traits you wish to see in your kids; respect, friendliness, honesty, kindness, and patience. You ought to treat your kids the way you expect other people to treat you. Show positive behaviour.

Communication should be a priority. When it comes to parenting, parents are not supposed to give orders without explaining to kids why they ought to do what they are told to do. Engage kids in whatever is happening at home. If there is a problem, let them take part in seeking solutions. Giving a chance to kids to give their views enables them to grow with the responsibility trait in them, as opposed to sitting back when there is a problem.

Be a safe haven for the children. Let your child know that you will always be there for them by being responsive to all their needs. Support and accept your child as an individual. Be a warm, safe haven for your child.

editor@newtimesrwanda.com