Dear Aunt Silvia,

I am a young single and successful business woman. I was very ambitious until four months ago when my dreams were shattered.

That was the day when my doctor informed me that not only was I expectant but also HIV positive A year ago, I met a very rich man who promised me heaven on earth.

True to his words, in the one year I have been with him, I have lacked nothing. He opened a business for me, bought me a house and a top of the range car.

I thought my life was now complete and was looking forward to an even brighter future, now all my dreams have been shattered.

I confronted him about his HIV status and he told me that he has been sick for the last eight years, and no one knows because he has the money to keep him going for more years.

I feel cheated because he should have told me this before we engaged in unprotected sex. I want to leave him, but something is holding me back for the sake of the child I am carrying. What do I do?

Evangeline.

Dear Evangeline,

As a parent I am very saddened by the position you have found yourself in- my heart is bleeding for you. I advise you to stop regretting and putting all the blame on yourself, you will only make matters worse.

I blame that shameful man for infecting you with full knowledge of his status, how can an adult possibly with children your age, do such a thing?

Sometimes I wonder where the world is going to full of people with heinous characters! Some wolves walk around in form of human beings- and unfortunately we realize they are not what we see only too late.

But sometimes you children also do not listen to your parents; these men come around and offer you all the comfort that money can buy and you give yourself to them very fast whole heartedly without a flicker of an eye! Where did common sense disappear to? 

They say when the deal is too good think twice! Anyway all that is water under the bridge- all is not lost, the risk of transmission to your baby is only highest during birth and when breastfeeding your baby.

Anti-HIV medicines have greatly reduced the risk of infecting your baby during labour and delivery. Without treatment, there is about a 25% chance of passing the virus to your baby.

But with the new drugs and elective caesarean sections, the risk of passing the virus to the baby is reduced by more than two thirds to 1-8%.

A large follow-up study confirmed that AZT, an anti-HIV drug used for preventing vertical (or mother-to-infant) transmission had no lasting effects on babies.

Good prenatal care is very important. So is finding an obstetrician with HIV experience. More than anything, your baby needs you his/her mother to be healthy and emotionally strong.

The main thing you can do for your baby is to take good care of yourself by reducing your viral load, eating well, and creating a solid support network to help you get settled and ready for the challenges of parenthood in your status.

As for the man, he has hurt you yes, but you can not turn the arm of the clock now, you need him and so will his baby. Good luck.

Ends