We are social beings who thrive on healthy relationships. And yet, the importance of positive relationships in schools is often overlooked.

Even with the proven connection between positive relationships and student achievement, some people dismiss the idea of relationship building in primary and high schools. 

There are, however, many factors involved regarding relationship building, the most prominent being the parent-teacher connection. Educationists say that the parent-teacher relationship is essential as it sets the necessary example for students to build their own positive relationships.

Why it’s important

Silver Busonozi, the dean of students at Riviera High School, says positive relationships are crucial as they make the learning process easy.

He says many students are in the adolescent phase; therefore, as a parent, knowing the groups their children normally spend time with is helpful.

"As a parent, creating good communication with your child is important. Letting them be open to share their grievances can help bring out issues they face in life. And being in bad company is one of them,” he says.

Busonozi says that it’s important to know that how a child relates or socialises with friends of the same age helps with their development.

He says that with positive relationships among students, it’s easy to achieve more in life.

For instance, he says, it’s through positive relationships that students become independent and develop their own individual identity.

"Because students come from different backgrounds, they always portray different characters. There are those who learn how to be independent at an early stage and those who don’t. When they mingle, such can be emulated amongst themselves,” Busonozi says.

Modeste Ndangamira, the corporate project manager at All Trust Consult Ltd, a company that supports young entrepreneurs in Kigali, says there are many ways to promote positive relationships among students.

He says that the most dominant is the provision of preoccupation. This, he says, is giving them what to do either at school or home.

"This shouldn’t just happen for primary or high school students, those at tertiary level should also be encouraged to promote good relationships among themselves,” he says.

He says that while at school, teachers should send their students for different programmes and camps to experience diversity and more importantly, learn from other students.

By doing this, he says, students are in a position to socialise and work together as a team, which in the end will promote positive relationships with their colleagues.

Ndangamira says that students also get exposed to different types of communities, which he believes brings out the confidence in them.

With no positive environment to foster learning, James Munezero, a disciplinary teacher in Western Province, says learners will never understand what they are being taught.

He says this should start with a teacher being able to control the class. It means that the teacher has to ensure learners move at the same pace and are all ready to learn.

"Positive relationships among students can predict many outcomes in the life of any learner, whereas negative relationships only serve as a risk in society and can lead to depression,” he says.

How can this be done?

Edward Kalisa, an educator in Kigali, says it’s the role of instructors to know what it takes for their learners to get all that is needed as far as education is concerned.

He says as a good educator, focusing on different approaches in education that can help students do their best is important, and that it’s through this diversity that good change in the life of any student, within school and after, can be achieved.

 One of the ways to create positive relationships among students, Kalisa says, is by encouraging students to always work together as a team and make friends.

He says to achieve this, the teacher should first set a good example to students, and they should portray all the best character so that it becomes easy to install this in learners.  

"As an instructor, you shouldn’t expect much from learners if you are preaching about water but drinking wine. Being a role model to these young ones is important. They will strive to be like their teacher and more importantly, respect what they are being told to do,” he says.

On the other hand, Kalisa says there is also a need for teachers to identify what their students like most, or what they seem to understand best, be it class work or other field activities.

By doing this, he says, it’s easier to promote positive relationships among them. He explains that instructors should be able to identify those with common interests and group them accordingly.

He says when these students come together because they share the same interests, it’s easier to promote good connections based on common interests. It also provides opportunity for some students to learn and at the same time, get skills on how to improve on what they are good at.

Diana Nawatti, the head teacher at Mother Mary Complex School, says allowing students to visit different companies and find out how they work can also promote positive relationships.

She says when learners observe how companies are run and the support, communication and team work from employees which all contribute to its success, emulating these skills can be good for them.

"While at school, they can also try to practice what they have seen and experienced, which includes working together as a team,” she says.

Nawatti adds that sometimes what learners need is experimental learning; when teachers are able to identify this, their work can be made easy. 

Jacky Irabagiza, matron at Martyr Secondary School in Remera, says another way to promote good relationships among students is through culture.

She says the role of guardians or anyone in the life of a child is to mentor a versatile individual, noting that much as academics and other aspects are important to any student, teaching their values and having the idea of where they come from is important.

Irabagiza explains that these cultures bring people together and they get to learn different things that can be taught in school. When they are more aware of where they came from and the values that bind them together, they not only know how to reflect on their own culture, but also how to relate with others.

editorial@newtimes.co.rw