After his father and younger brother were killed in the 1994 Genocide against the Tutsi, Alexis Ndayambaje was left grief-stricken and traumatised. Their remains were never found, and the inability to provide them with a dignified burial fills him with anguish.
Desperate to cope with the pain, Ndayambaje turned to cycling, a hobby of his. In 2022, he chose to ride his bicycle across the country, visiting every Genocide memorial site in each district, to heal, learn, and hopefully, move on.
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"I wanted to know how they were killed, and take time to honour and remember them,” Ndayambaje said about his family, adding that the idea to ride his bicycle was a way to cope with the trauma and remember all the people who were killed during the Genocide.
As a curator at the King’s Palace Museum in Nyanza District, he enjoys hiking and cycling in his spare time. This particular hobby has aided him in healing from past trauma, whilst probing into the country’s history, particularly the events surrounding the 1994 Genocide against the Tutsi.
A story of survival
When the Genocide began, Ndayambaje was just 10 years old and living in former Gikongoro District (now Nyamagabe District) in southern Rwanda with his grandmother. She instructed him to flee to Butare (now Huye) to seek refuge with his married aunt.
He left on the night of April 8 and sought refuge at a church in Nyaruguru with his aunt who had left Butare. Unfortunately, the killers discovered their hiding place and began attacking, forcing him to flee for his life alone.
Before leaving his grandmother, she had instructed him to follow people going to Burundi.
"Before I left our house on April 8, my grandmother told me I was still young, and that it was easy for me to run, urging me to join those heading to Burundi. She assured me that in Burundi, I would be better off,” Ndayambaje narrated.
"So I did what my grandmother told me. I found strangers along the way and followed those who said they were going to Burundi. We crossed a small river in Nyungwe, and we arrived in Burundi at a place called Kabarore, where there were schools,” he added.
While crossing into Burundi, Ndayambaje didn’t get the opportunity to meet any of his family members or anyone he knew. Upon his return after the Genocide, he learned that his father was killed in Mayaga and his younger brother was killed in Karama, in the south.
Coping with trauma
After the Genocide, Ndayambaje and his sister were the only survivors; his mother and another brother died shortly after the Genocide.
Cycling is well known for aiding in weight loss and enhancing physical fitness, but for Ndayambaje, it served as a way to conquer his past trauma.
Ndayambaje says cycling is his way to pay tribute to the victims of the 1994 Genocide against the Tutsi. He also sees it as a way to cope with not knowing who killed his family or being able to give them a proper burial.
"I once sat down and thought about my experience, the history of my country, and how my family members were killed in different parts of the country. I was eager to know more about the Genocide, and as someone who enjoys riding a bicycle, I decided to ride it while visiting all the Genocide memorials in the country,” he said.
With his bicycle, Ndayambaje has visited over 40 Genocide memorials in various districts and sectors in the country, except for Nyagatare and Burera districts which he is planning to visit this year.
However, he encounters challenges when travelling long distances. For example, Nyanza to Ngoma in the Eastern Province is a lengthy journey that requires an overnight stay along the way.
"Some of those trips were long; some of them would require me to sleep in and start riding the next day; sometimes the bike would have issues on the way, and I would delay reaching where I was going and come back, but I knew how helpful it was to my healing journey, and I didn’t stop,” he added.
One of the most challenging aspects of Ndayamabaje’s healing journey through cycling is the ride back home, as he explains it.
"The hardest part is always coming back from the memorial, with the testimonies that you have heard, the history that you have learned, the proof that you have seen.
"In some Genocide memorials, you get to see their bodies, where they are laid to rest. So coming back from those trips has always been the hardest. During the initial 30 minutes of my rides, I feel weak, but as I continue cycling, my body gains momentum and generates additional energy, enabling me to complete the journey and return home safely,” he added.