Have you ever dated someone who is unaware of you? Like you are dating them only in your head? You’re living in denial. To them, you’re just there — a brother, a friend, or worse, someone they know. They just aren’t into you, but in your head, you’re into them — like Tamia sang. You’re living a lie and a sad one at that.

It hurts, I know. It stings. Love is cruel. You could be one of those guys who brags among your peers that you’re hooked and in love with a girl yet the said girl’s thoughts are on another planet. But you’re too blind to see it, because, you know, love is blind and all. If you are this person, kindly wear your shoes and show them your heels. Run. Bolt away. But before you do, here are some pointers to know if you are living a lie.

They address you by your name

Probably, you shouldn’t use this as a benchmark to know whether they are into you or not, but still, if you are dating them and they always address you by your name, they are not into you really. Hey Patrick! Good night, James. Thank you, Jane. I will see you, Sarah. Are you business partners? What happened to: Goodnight, sweetheart? I will talk to you, hun. Good morning, bae. Hey, sweet pie! Walk away.

One-way traffic

It’s tricky, this world we live in. Harsh is the right word to use, I guess. This life is harsh. ‘One way’ here means you are the only one calling, pushing, texting, and doing all the labour. You are always the first one to send that message as though you want to beat a deadline, and the last one to sign off, of course. You are always blue ticked on WhatsApp and left in the biting coldness to freeze. You are the one doing the work; you are like the housekeeper. They are probably using their time on someone else. Clearly, someone else, somewhere, is getting their first message and it’s not you. Walk away. 

Public? Not for me

They are always armed with excuses when you propose to meet them in public. Excuse after excuse. "I have a headache. Can we meet at home? I don’t want loud music.” You are either not their type, or they don’t want to be seen hanging out with you. If they step out with you, they are walking a mile away from you. They will keep telling you to meet somewhere else; in the darkness. They are not into you.

Busy bee not bae

Busy rolls off their tongue so effortlessly. Can we meet tonight? I am busy. Can I see you? I am busy. Can I meet you for lunch? I am busy. You call them, they make the number busy. They are not baes, they are bees. Busy! They are busy assembling a satellite. Look, no one gets busy for someone they love, or like. If they are always too busy for you, maybe, they are indeed busy with other people. They are not into you.

Future plans

You actually never talk about the future or status of your relationship. You can talk about Arsenal and Manchester United, or Kim Kardashian. You can talk about who’s slandering who on social media, or gossip about your friends, or music, or new movies. But you never talk about your relationship; your plans, your goals. I have a plan for you — just go. They are not into you.

Do they follow you on Twitter?

Some people prefer not to hang their relationships on social media like billboards. It’s a risky endeavour. It’s understandable, really, but it’s the smallest hints that give you away. I believe your partner should be friends with you on social media. In case, a social media war breaks, they can be able to stand by your side, or shield you from the ruthless social media wrath. Well, if they don’t follow you online, they probably don’t follow you in your life too. Run.