WOMAN 2 WOMAN: Dealing with men at work

No one ever said working for men is easy. Dancing around their egos, understanding their motivation, and not inadvertently insulting them can take the Wisdom of Solomon and the patience of Job.

Saturday, January 24, 2009

No one ever said working for men is easy. Dancing around their egos, understanding their motivation, and not inadvertently insulting them can take the Wisdom of Solomon and the patience of Job.

Learning to handle men at work is second in difficulty only to handling a lot of unruly children. So many issues get piled on top of each other that it can be an absolute minefield trying to work with men.

Since you cannot change the men you work with (if you try, you will only frustrate yourself), below are some tips on how to handle them.

To begin with, I need to make one thing absolutely clear. Work relationships are limited. You must accept this limitation. It is not your place to try to make someone relax more, learn to be kinder, or become more sensitive.

You are hired to get a task done, and that task will usually require that you learn how to work with others. Put any thought of changing others out of your mind. You have to learn how to work around their weaknesses.

If you really want to fail with your boss or create resentment with a subordinate, act like a know it all. This will make you a primary threat at your work place and you may soon be marked out.  Whatever you do, do not be confrontational.

This is a sure recipe for disaster. Instead negotiate your way through for your point of view to be accepted and if it is not, just abandon the idea or if you feel you can not take it , you are better off resigning without creating a "scene” at work with any of your workmates or boss  that might haunt you  for the rest of your life.

Almost all men like recognition. It is a good practice to send your male colleague or boss a congratulatory email/message when he deserves it. Let him know that you enjoy working for him / with him and respect his leadership and contribution.

If you recognise his accomplishments, it likely that in future he will go out of his way to help you. Avoid flirting at your workplace. While it is possible to have a successful relationship with a colleague at work, it is better to avoid such relationships.

It can affect your productivity and concentration at work especially if you have problems with your partner. It is also a fact that some men tend to use their power to sexually abuse women at work.

However, this depends on a woman’s response: if you stick to your guns and show that you are not interested, in most cases he may abandon the idea.

However if you create an impression that you are easy going or enjoying his attention, be prepared to face the consequences of your actions. 

More importantly, your power at the workplace comes from self respect not matter what position you hold. If you lose this sense of self–respect, you have lost everything.

Contact: ubernie@gmail.com