Would you come up and tell your spouse that you cheated on him? Would you tell your spouse that it’s over if at all you no longer feel anything for him? The answer is certainly no! As the saying goes, ‘truth is bitter’. Most of us tend to respect the saying and keep our loved ones in the dark about several things in our lives.

Even on clear issues, love has suffered deception. We all know that the truth is rarely pure and never simple but it only takes a leap of faith to get your loved one out of the dark world of lies.

Many term relationships as a series of mysteries just because they don’t know exactly who their spouses are. Here is how to go about telling your spouse the truth.

Prepare Your Spouse or Partner – Right before you disclose the information, tell your spouse or partner that you have something which you need to talk about. Tell them that it will be hard to hear. Request your partner to listen and calmly react about what you have to say.

Time and Setting – Do it in private and when your partner or spouse has time to cope with the information. For instance, pick a time when your spouse or partner can reach out to others for support.

Don’t tell your partner the unpleasant information in the middle of the night.  Put yourself in your spouse’s or partner’s shoes; if you had to, when would you prefer to receive the news?

Be Descriptive – When disclosing information, try to be descriptive rather than evaluative. In other words, describe what you have done or what may have happened without blaming your spouse or partner. In other words, take responsibility for your actions.

Expect the Worst – Imagine the worst case scenario and prepare for it. Will your spouse or partner need time away from you? Or will they want to ask you a lot of questions? What do you think his or her response will be?

Resist the Urge to Defend Yourself or Fight Back – The truth can be very painful to hear. And when people are hurt or in pain they often lash out at or attack the person they believe to be responsible for their feelings.

Typically, the best way to deal with such a situation is to avoid fighting back. Rather, try listening to and acknowledging your partner’s feelings.

Generally speaking, when people are hurt or in pain they need to feel understood before they are willing to entertain excuses or explanations for what may have happened. If you follow this, you’ll finally win your love’s trust back. Come up, say the truth, surely it will save you.

Ends