Dear Aunt Silvia,

I am a young career woman and newly married. I have been promoted at work and am leaving the country with a contract of five years at hand, though I will be coming home to see my husband every quarter of the year.

My husband is not happy with my promotion and he has warned me to choose between him and my job. What I don’t understand is that my job is what is maintaining him and his extended family that live with us since I don’t have any of my immediate family members around; they all have good jobs abroad.

I love my job very much. It has taken me to greater heights and I am not ready to resign, neither do I want to lose my husband. What do I do?
Isabelle.

Dear Isabelle,

You have been placed between a rock and a hard place. For sure it is very difficult to choose between a man you love and a job you cherish and don’t want to lose. It is not wise to break up your marriage because of a job.

Sit with your husband and ask him what he thinks you should do because it is the same job that pays his bills and those of his family members. He should know the consequences and be ready for them if at all he wants you to resign.

On the other hand you should not just throw your career and good job out the window just because your spouse is forcing you to. Try and defend your stand in all ways possible.

It is not easy to come by a good job and you should guard yours jealously. You and your husband have to come to an understanding.

An elephant has never complained of its tusks and so he should not complain just because you have a good job. When the two of you got married, he was fully aware of your job type and what it entails.

He shouldn’t be complaining now. How come he does not complain when you pay his bills and those of his family members?.

He might be feeling subordinate because you have a very good job and now you have been promoted and taken outside the country. He probably feels completely left out in your life.

Given the situation he is in, he should have been happy for both of you, since your victories are his and vice versa. The only other alternative that you are left with if he is not convinced, is to ask him to join you wherever you will be going.

This way, you will not be bound to climb the corporate ladder as a divorced woman.

Ends