So people still believe that a girl should never make the first move and I support them. I didn’t before and argued that this was an old fashioned view and only marginalised women.

My argument was that it has been proven over and over again that women can do practically everything men can do, so why should they be stopped from venturing in this given field? Little was I to know that whoever came up with that theory knew what they were talking about.

So here I was feeling the unstoppable woman. There was this guy, let’s call him Mark, I had been eyeing for some time now. See, Mark and I worked in the same Organisation and it was impossible to miss such a handsome creation. So I saw him everyday; that did not solve anything.

What I really wanted was a chance to ask him out on a date, but that proved a big challenge seeing as I am a very proud and equally shy person.

In addition, my friends did not offer me any moral support claiming that was a no go zone and I should wait for him to make the first move. I couldn’t hear any of this and was sure and continued with my goal, I was not going to be discouraged.

I kept saying hullo every morning and making silly excuses to talk to him. Being the nice guy he was, he always replied with a smile, which I misinterpreted as liking on his side. I always had a problem with my computer, needed help with some word I didn’t understand, you know the drill.

Anything to grab the guys attention, he always helped me but still didn’t offer to take me out or ask for my number. So I decided to take things in my own hands. 

I got his number from a friend a mutual friend and decided to text him; you know many relationships have started with that little text, so I thought why not.

I said hello and he replied immediately, I am off to a good start, I thought. He asked who I was and I revealed that it was Jackie from the office; this surprised him and took me back a little.

It might sound conceited but I had expected him to have my number. He asked what I wanted and I said I only wanted to say hello. We then talked about work stuff and later bade each other goodnight.

I slept with a smile on my face knowing that I had at last broken the ice between us. We chatted some more a few days from then but it was on the usual. So one day I summed the courage half way our conversation and asked him if he wanted to have a drink with me sometime.

You will not believe what he told me. He called immediately and asked what my problem was, to which I answered that it was nothing much, just a drink. He then went on to lecture me saying that I was undermining him and that if he had wanted to take me out he would have.

He also said something about girls knowing their place and not overstepping. By this time I was already feeling so embarrassed but could not switch off the phone. He went on to claim that he had only been nice to me out of courtesy.

Finally he told me never to bother him again and not to call him either. I tried to say I was sorry and he had misunderstood but he switched off the phone before I could complete the sentence.

I cried till I could cry no more, I cried not because of the rejection but because of the shame and humiliation. I could not believe what had just happened. I knew that even if a guy that I didn’t like asked me, I would never in a million years react that way to him.

All the things my friends had told me came back to me and I wished I had listened to them. I then resolved that I would never do this again, however much I wanted. I decided that I would wait till the boy came to me and asked me out.

I concluded that some things are best left alone and this was one of those. Men were created to chase and women be chased.

Ends