Getting ahead at your place of work or anywhere…, may centre on resisting the urge to spread the latest news. It could be about politics, for example what is going on between the Israelites and the Palestinians, the hiking of the prices in Rwanda during the festive season, or merely gossiping about your co-workers or friends.

Not all type of gossiping is bad. Some are more hurtful and damaging, while others are just manner and undisruptive. For example, maliciously gossiping is when people spread rumours or lies about a person in order to purposely cause pain or damage.

Aiming at humiliating, or turn others against him or her, especially in relationships, or work related issues. They concoct lies, and sometimes pass on embarrassing information against a person that is not true.

While "Minor” gossip are lies, or embarrassing information against some people, but when the narrator does not have ill intentions against the person she/he is talking about.

You may think gossiping is harmless, but you might just be shooting yourself in the foot as far as your credibility is concerned, or end up dancing to Timberlake’s tune… in  his song "What goes around turn round”.

No wonder, Rachel Weingarten, the author of "Career and Corporate Cool” criticises the habit. Weingarten talks about how people should focus more on their acts as part of every stage of the career. She also emphasises that, "Let your work speak for itself. You don’t need to be the one making yourself look better by talking down someone else.”

Surely, gossip can be almost too a killer disease, easily to destroy one’s reputation. So, now that we have begun a New Year, let’s dedicate our time on constructive issues, other than destroying what is helpful for the future.

"My business is only centred my work, if someone gossips negatively about me, that could affect my entire career,” Joan Uwase, a secretary with one of the Ministries.

Uwase further says that once you are proved to be a gossiper, your co-workers, friends and sometimes relatives may start avoiding sharing any conversations with you because they think you will tell what transpired to others.

"If people recognise you as a gossiper, they will stop hanging out with you, and sharing information with you,” said Claude Kayitare a student doctor at Kigali Health Centre.

You may think your boss will appreciate you for giving negative reports about your co-workers, or your fellows friends crediting your for giving false information about your fellow friends. But you are just messing up with the entire procedure and tarnishing your pride by fooling around.

"People who go gossiping about others do it to fail others, to make them a failure in life, their responsibilities, dignity, or reputation by talking disapprovingly about them. Incidentally, you are simply doing yourself a disserving, because soon or later people will discover who you are, and will get to know that you are a destroyer and a lair.

There are better ways to deal with water cooler talkers (gossipers). First and perhaps most obvious: Keep the information to yourself. It is not a wise thing to share with gossipers any sensible information.

Sometimes gossiping is the only thing you have in common with your co-workers, or casual friends. So find something to replace it with. Are you a sports fan, club-goer, or probably party animal? If you must gossip, do it on celebrities, for example musicians, footballers, or politicians.

How to deal with a gossiper Set a reminder

If a person comes to you determined to spread the gossip, set a timer for five minutes, and let the person yap. When the time is up and the gossiper is spewing the information, pretend as if nothing is going on, but do not respond or contribute to his/her conversation.

Note down the specifics

When a co-worker runs to your desk with the latest hot gossip, get out a piece of paper and pen. Note down the major points in the conversation.

This will show the gossiper that everything she/he says has been noted for further references. And it helps you focus on facts instead of hearsays. What you may find out, is that you and those around you feel happier as they gossip less.

"I hate people who gossip, and I hardly give them any single minute to waste, because I regard them as destroyers,” says Peter Kamanzi, a student at Kigali Institute of Science and Technology (KIST).

Contact: lindaonly2005@yahoo.com