Whether you have had a child or not, you probably have heard parents lament about the ‘terrible twos’. Simply put, it is that phase when your toddler decides to be rebellious about practically everything.

In my books, I interpret it as God’s subtle way of giving you a glimpse of what you are probably going to deal with for the rest of your life, as your child grows up and starts thinking that they know better. 

Naively, I thought that if there is any rebel in Kwezi, she would spring out like the famous John Rambo the day she hits two. Two came. Nothing. Months passed. Nothing. I then began thinking that maybe, since we have been lucky in many things so far, I may not have to deal with the terrible twos after all. How wrong I was!

Looking back, it seems to me that Kwezi ‘played me’. She was saving the worst for last. 

For the last one month, I have been dealing with a child who I sometimes doubt is mine. She has discovered the power of tears, blackmailing me at every given opportunity. Sometimes, I am a hard nut to crack because I actually do ignore the tears, but recently, she has ‘graduated’ to screams. I would have ignored the screams too, had they not been those high pitched ones that seem to go straight to your soul and believe me, I don’t even know where that is. With the screams, there are tears, kicks and sometimes slaps. She will cry about something and nothing and occasionally, she will slap me. I always slap back and we both stare at each other in shock.

Truthfully, a toddler is a lot of work. One hour with Kwezi is exhausting. I had to come up with a plan. This was a good time to teach her something about life. You cannot blackmail people into giving you what you want.

So, when the rebel in her attacks, I will calmly open the door, grab her small arms like she is a doll, and put her in the corridor then close the door. That alone moment is an opportunity for her to kick and scream but finally realise the error of her ways. When she goes silent, then we go back to the drawing board and I tell her, though I am not sure if she understands, why I do not negotiate with "terrorists”.

No one who depends on me for practically everything is going to blackmail me and most importantly, this must be the right time to teach her a few things about life.

We are making progress. I am happy that she now knows that the corridor is where people go when they are ‘bad’. She is coming around, and we are a few months away from turning three. So this too shall pass.