Thirty years ago, two epoch-defining events happened in this country. One was the genocide against the Tutsi in 1994. The other was the liberation of the country from decades of bad, divisive politics.

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This year, as every year since 1994, Rwandans will mark both, but each with a markedly different mood.

The commemoration of the genocide against the Tutsi on April 7 is a sombre, poignant period and always evokes painful memories, of untold loss of life and future ended just as it was beginning. But we also remember that it was stopped by Rwandans and that brings other feelings – admiration for the courage and selflessness of those that did it, defiance, refusal to be wiped out or be broken, and resolve to live, rebuild and even prosper.

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On July 4, we shall celebrate Liberation Day when the country was freed from decades of division, discrimination, dispossession of a section of the population and periodic pogroms. That date marks a return to sanity. The mood is joyful, celebratory and forward-looking.

Shortly after, we shall go to the polls to elect our leaders for the next five years. Rwandans will almost certainly choose to continue on the path they have followed for the past thirty years.

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Thirty years is not a long time, as President Paul Kagame reminded the nation during this year’s Umushyikirano. But it is long enough to allow for reflection on our journey so far.

We can say that it has been a time of resurrection, rebirth and regeneration, of rebuilding and transformation.

We have rediscovered how to be and live as a nation again, united, not as its distinct constituent parts, some more important than others and, in fact, with sole claim to our shared space.

We have also learnt that we are our own best keeper and should not expect others to look out for us. This is a lesson first learnt during those horrible 100 days in 1994 when the whole world turned away as more than one million Tutsi were killed.

The most powerful countries in the world, with the means and power to stop the slaughter, pleaded inability or ignorance of the scale of what was happening. The real reason, of course, was that Rwanda did not represent any vital interests to them.

Even those who preach the equality and brotherhood of human kind and the sanctity of life, and act as the guardians of morality were complicit, by aiding and abetting the mass murder or by their inaction.

The lesson continued to be learnt in the early days of the new government when it was trying to pick up the pieces, pull things together, and heal the nation, even before embarking on the daunting task of reconstruction. Some of those with the power to help withheld their support; others blocked any such assistance.

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It was a lesson that was well learnt. It meant that we had to look to and within ourselves for solutions. We have not looked back since.

That also meant discarding certain habits, such as relying on the generosity of benefactors– actually expecting it as if they owed it to us. We rediscovered the wisdom of our forebears in their warning about depending on help from outsiders. It comes only after harm has been done or danger has passed.

We learnt, too, that what we took for generosity was really pity for our helplessness. Some love you when you are helpless and give you handouts. You are, of course, expected to be grateful for their charity. Apparently, the giving and your gratitude make them feel good, useful and important. Because of that, they do not want to end your state of helplessness, actually want to perpetuate it because it is the justification for charity and possibly some sort of redemption.

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They do not have to work very hard to do that. The handouts make you beholden to them and you keep looking up to them for more. And so you do not have to work hard.

We have had to unlearn all this and discard the complex of helplessness and pity in our relations with outsiders. In its place, we have restored a sense of self-worth. Respect has also replaced pity. That did not happen overnight.

Self-worth has to be built. Respect is earned. First, it comes from within, from the self, your worth and abilities. Then it comes from hard work and achievement.

It comes from daring, taking on challenges, being prepared to walk the trodden path or fashioning your own when that is the only way to get to where you want to go.

It comes from having power, which in turn derives from doing right, getting things done, from clarity of purpose and vision, and, of course, strength.

Once you have all this, you will be respected, even if often grudgingly. There will also be envy and even attempts to bring you down, or distract you and throw you off track. All this is to be expected and we have seen a lot of it these past 30 years.

It is obviously easier to walk on a well-trodden path than fashion a new one, to follow a well-known course than chart a new one. Setting off in a new direction requires courage and conviction. That does not happen haphazardly, but is the result of analysis, planning and clear vision.

Rwanda’s leadership has not been afraid of change. In fact, they actively embraces it. They are not afraid to go in new directions or against the current, not to follow prescriptions of others or conform to their ideas or practices. We have seen this in such areas as the championing of ICT, investment in such areas as MICE, matters green (environment), alternative approaches to peacekeeping, and political organisation.

The result is what Rwanda is today. A country where the government is efficient and effective and does what it commits to, where things happen. Which is why it is the preferred destination of so many people, events and organisations.

It is no longer the timid, isolated country, its leaders paying homage to a big brother across the border or a godfather in Europe. Instead, it is a confident country playing a key role in African and international affairs, and whose leaders’ counsel is much sought.

Thirty years is indeed a short time, but it is no exaggeration to say that, in that time Rwanda seems to have achieved the work of a century.