DEAR COUNSELLOR,

OUR CLASS TEACHER IS MY MOTHER AND THOUGH I’M A HARDWORKING STUDENT , MY FELLOW STUDENTS THINK THAT SHE FAVOURS ME OR GIVES ME TIPS ON EXAMS WHICH IS HONESTLY NOT THE CASE. I AM FRUSTRATED AND I FEEL GUILTY WHEN I PERFORM WELL IN A TEST . WHAT CAN I DO?

JOHN

Good grades are the result of both hard work and intelligence. There is nothing wrong with being a smart student regardless of whether your mother is your class teacher or not. Having your mom as your teacher means you pay more attention and always work hard in class to be the perfect student. You’re on her radar both at home and school as she provides extra help in the areas where you’re not good at. This doesn’t mean she favours you or gives you tips on exams. Don’t let their negativity degrade your achievement. Negativity breeds dissatisfaction and such attitudes can be venomous and contagious. Remember that jealousy is more about them than it is about you. Studies show that people who report higher levels of jealousy are more likely to be insecure and lack self-worth. Therefore, create a visual reminder of your goals to keep you on track, even when others are against you. This is your career, your life and your future. So, own it and steer it towards the most desirable direction.

All academic environments and social circles are dominated by such people who manage to bring others down. It can be emotionally draining just being around them but ultimately, you’re not responsible for their poor performance. They just wish they were like you so let them envy you as you constantly work to keep track of your career goals. Most of the time, validation and sympathy are enough to soothe any such chronic complainers without directly shutting them down.  They have no intention of actually doing anything about their problem. Therefore, don’t boast, rather, surround yourself with friends who share your drive for success and who are goal-oriented to support each other.  While not everyone has the same goals, successful people share common traits, such as resilience and persistence. So form different school clubs to help you find other students who share your interests. Congratulate your classmates whenever they receive a high grade so they’ll be less likely to feel jealous of you. 

Just be polite and friendly but learn to set your boundaries when enough is enough. Ignoring some completely negative students doesn’t mean you hate them, or that you wish them harm; it just means every time you subtract negative from your life, you make room for more positive. Your teachers too are professional enough to fix this problem between you and these students so approach them about this dilemma.