Calm down

You’re meeting your BF/GF’s parents, not going on a battlefield. It might feel like it but listen, chances are this will be nothing more than dinner and conversation. You’ve talked to adults you don’t know before. You can do this. Plus, this little meet up probably won’t last long either. Just relax!

Be yourself...no, seriously

What they see is what they’re going to get, so don’t dress up like a prom queen if you’re a jeans and t-shirt kind of girl. Don’t pretend to be into dad rock if you’re really into feminist punk and old school hip hop. Don’t act like someone else that you think the parents are going to like better because you might be totally wrong and just end up making a fool out of yourself. Oh, and if your ‘boo’ suggests acting differently around your parents, it’s time to have a serious discussion about the health of your relationship because that’s beyond messed up.

Expect some awkwardness

Your BF/GF’s parents are fully aware that you’re the person who is spending a lot of quality time--perhaps in various states of undress--with their kid. That fact alone might make your initial interactions with each other a little awkward, so don’t be surprised if a little awkwardness occurs. Just try to push past it by charming them hell out of them.

Ask questions, too

Imagine this: Your BF/GF’s parents just asked you a whole bunch of questions and now there’s an awkward silence over the dinner table. This is a perfect opportunity to show how mature you are by asking the parents some questions of your own. Keep it simple, like asking what they do, commenting on a book you found on their bookshelf, funny stories about your BF/GF when they were little, whatever. It’ll definitely help keep things light.

Get ready for some potentially prying questions

Let’s be real: Some parents are ridiculously nosy. They just are. So be prepared to end up on the opposite side of some questions you didn’t expect. Expect anything. A few simple questions about the classes you’re taking might lead to questions about unprotected sex as the mashed potatoes are getting passed across the table.

Be cautious if you know they don’t approve

This is relevant if you’re in a queer relationship and your partner’s parents don’t approve, of you and your BF/GF have cultural/ethnic/racial differences that your partner’s family isn’t down with. Unfortunately, this is still the case for so many families, so if you do finally end up meeting them be cautious. Keep the conversation polite and friendly, you might end up winning them over. If you feel like the situation can get dangerous, find an excuse to bounce if you have to. Some folks just aren’t ready for the 21st century.

Don’t assume they don’t like you just because they don’t tell you that they love you

So you tried to charm your BF/GF’s parents, you came across as the most perfect person ever and yet...you’re not really convinced that they like you. Don’t freak out just yet. Some parents need time to adjust--this can be weird for them, too--or they just aren’t super over the top about showing their emotions. Feel free to gently ask your partner what they think of you, but don’t go into a stress spiral just because they didn’t gush about how lovely you are. Have some chill.

Things to do when you meet the parents

When you meet your partner’s parents for the first time, try these brilliant tips.

Bring a housewarming gift

It’s etiquette 101, so even if your guy says his folks don’t expect you to, don’t show up empty-handed. If you’re just going over for dinner, bring flowers, dessert, or bottle of wine. For longer stays, consider chocolates or a book about something that interests them. Follow the dress code

If his family tends to be formal, ditch the skinny-jeans-plus-graphic-tee combo and rock a knee-skimming dress or skirt with a non-cleavage-baring top. And if you’re not sure what their style is, play it safe by going conservative. Flatter the mom’s good taste

You’re on her turf, so compliment her on the welcoming environment she’s created: Gush over her latest watercolor, the decorating scheme, the meal she’s prepared. It lets her know that you notice and appreciate all the work she’s done.

Bond with the siblings

Ask the little sister about her favourite TV shows, or an older brother about his favourite sports team. Everyone wants to feel cared about. And it doesn’t hurt to get the thumbs-up from his next of kin.

Agencies