Dear Aunt Silvia,

I am a young single male graduate with a stable job and am also saved. I met a young beautiful woman in my local church where I pray from; unfortunately the lady is physically handicapped and she walks on crutches.

People have raised eyebrows about our relationship and even my family members have warned me about taking our relationship further due to her handicap. I have fallen in love with her and I see nothing wrong just because she is disabled. Martin.

Dear Martin,

It is said that love is blind, we are never aware when it strikes and to whom it will direct us to. Gone are the days when we thought disabled people could not perform any duties.

Just by the mere fact that the young lady is a graduate, is a ready proof that there is nothing she can’t do; only that she is different. I have seen many people who get married to disabled people and they live happily ever after.

The huff and puff from family and friends dies down. I know the kind of war you will experience from your family members and friends, because they think it is a waste to get married to a person who is disabled, because in their terms this person cannot perform their duties as a normal person.

No one is going to fight this war for you. You need to stand up and defend your girl if you really love her, and you have to prove to them that disability is not inability. One of my closest friends got married to a disabled man after standing by him for almost 10 years before her family could give a go ahead for the marriage.

It was quite a feat waiting for someone for 10 years when most of us had already started having families of our own. She made sure that before she starts bringing unwanted grandchildren unto this world, she was going to be walked down the aisle by the only man she loved. And they are now happy parents to a baby boy.

So you are not the first person to experience this, our family members and people close to us have a tendency of wanting to make choices for us, but in reality the buck stops with us. Focus on the person and not the disability. Disabilities are important but by no means define a person.

Get to know the girl for the person she is. Don’t dwell on any physical ability she lacks, go ahead with your relationship and have fun in your period of courting. She really is just like any other girl, treat her that way and let nature take its course.

Contact: kayitesius@yahoo.com