It looked a unique evening. A few benches were well arranged on a raised ground in Rushubi Village, Rukomo Sector, Gicumbi District.

Men wearing overcoats and gumboots approached the benches but they outnumbered the seats, so those who missed out sat on well shaped stones while women sat on their kitenge clothes or on the grass.

This was a regular parents forum, locally known as Umugoroba w’Ababyeyi.

It was attended by men and women, some with children. This popular homegrown approach to chart the right path for society, takes place in various villages across the country.

The attendees attentively followed the discussions, giving their opinions on the subject of day "how to avoid adultery among couples to build strong families.”Antoine Ntabana, 50, and Verediyane Mukampabuka, 44, have been married for 22 years. The couple and their five children live in Rushubi Village where they regularly attend the meeting.

By their own account, before joining parents’ forum, the couple was embroiled in constant domestic wrangles over property. The couple became known in the whole village not for the good reasons.

"My husband used to violate my rights over property. As peasants, my husband and I tilled the farm together every day but after harvest my husband took almost the whole produce to the market, only leaving us with leftovers to survive on. He wasted all the money on alcohol with his friends. Whenever I would question him about the money, he barked at me and that usually caused a rift,” said Mukampabuka.

Thinking about how she worked hard only to see the harvest wasted, Mukampabuka said she lived in constant grief.

She reported their wrangles to local authorities often a month without redress.

Ntabana said he didn’t imagine his wife had rights over family property. He considered himself as a master of all things.

The couple realised later that the solution was within fellow residents.

"Umugoroba w’Ababyeyi, gradually changed my mindset. I was convinced by my fellow men and counsellors that my wife and children had equal rights to family property. We were also advised to join savings groups; life has changed for the better,” said Ntabana.

Apart from joining the Umugoroba w’Ababyeyi, the family of Ntabana also received counselling from family friends, locally known as Inshuti z’Umuryango, who visited them regularly.

After being sensitised on savings culture, the couple started to put aside some money from their earnings. Within a year of saving (Rwf1,600 per week), they bought a calf, a goat and a pig.

They continued saving until they rehabilitated their old house and bought other farmland to increase their production. Their plan is to sell off the calf and buy a dairy cow.

Mukampabuka said she is happy Umugoroba w’Ababyeyi helped them resolve their conflicts.

"Two of my children had dropped out of school because of lack of care and fees but now we have taken them back to school. Our children used to live like orphans but now they are healthy and live in a peaceful, happy family,” she added.

‘Making the difference’

Helene Nyirabikari, the Rushubi Village leader and the president of Umugoroba w’Ababyeyi, said within two years of the initiative, a big difference has been made in the welfare of families.

This is through resolving of domestic conflicts, violence and inculcating a savings culture in the people.

"At the beginning, it was hard for people to come and even when they started turning up, the majority of them were women. But with more sensitisation and innovative approach overtime, men also joined,” she said.

"Normally, we are required to gather in the first week of every month but here residents asked to meet every Wednesday after realising its importance.”Nyirabikari said on average 100-130 families attend the meeting out of the 180 in the village.

"Initially, as village leader, I could receive two or more family complaints in a week but now two or three months can elapse without any,” she said.

Nyirabikari added that there are times that children, especially the youth, are invited and taught about cultural values and reproductive health.

It is dramatically reducing teenage pregnancies in the village and other deliquent behaviour, she said.

Marie Laurence Cyomugisha, the in-charge of social affairs in Rukomo Sector, said as leaders, they are glad to see that 80 per cent of family complaints are resolved at village level.

The parents’ forum in Rukomo is also credited for reducing rate of school dropouts.

"In 2015, we had over 400 children who dropped out of school, but this year the number reduced to 120. We are continuing to put more efforts such that when the Academic Year 2017 starts the remaining children will also go back to school ,” Cyomugisha said.

Speaking ahead of the National Children Summit earlier this month in Kigali, the Minister for Gender and Family Promotion, Esperance Nyirasafari, said domestic conflict and violence highly affect the welfare of children and proper parenting at family level.

Considering that the Umugoroba w’Ababyeyi is fundamental for sensitising parents on raising children in peaceful and healthy families, the minister tasked local leaders to identify families embroiled in constant wrangles and advise them to attend parents forums.

"During our field visit and campaign in different parts of the country we have realised that parents’ forum has registered positive changes that include conflict resolution, teaching savings culture, reducing domestic abuse and better family planning methods. We will continue with more sensitisation so that all forums can be active,” Christiane Umuhire, the in-charge of family promotion at the ministry, told The New Times recently.

Conceived in 2010, Umugoroba w’Ababyeyi was initially an evening that set aside to bring women together to talk and explore ways to support each other.What was originally a simple evening was developed and broadened further to involve men and sometimes children, and, in March 2013, Umugoroba w’Ababyeyi was officially born.

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