My visit to Trattoria was nothing short of a disaster and an unforgettable experience that will not be remembered for any positivity.

Located in Kimuhurira, this outfit looks deceptively good. The decor and lighting look fancy from the outside, the good furniture in the corner is tasteful but also an area where the staff seem to go to relax and look on forlornly as if life is a dour waste of time. Let me go to the beginning.

Upon arrival, my guest and I were greeted by a shabbily dressed individual. His trousers were way above his ankles and as tight as an anaconda’s death grip, his shirt untucked and his hair a bizarre arrangement atop his head. A quick glance around points to the fact that all service staff was similarly not in uniform and looked like a bunch of kids heading to the disco.

This gentleman had not the faintest clue of where to sit us so we suggested and showed ourselves to an area where we could have a comfortable view of the entire restaurant. Plus, the sitting looked comfortable, one of the few saving graces about this less sad state of affairs.

What ensued was a mad scramble by the waiter to present us with both the drink and food menu. At this point, I was willing to leave but to write this, I needed to see it through.

We ordered for a glass of wine and a beer. My beer was brought without the wine. What followed was a question that should have been asked by the gentleman waiter before he dashed off regarding if my guest preferred bottled wine or from the casket. A service error if I have ever seen one. I believe all drinks must be brought at once. A little horror was to follow. Gentleman waiter emptied contents of my beer bottle into my glass and promptly placed empty bottle on the table right next to my glass and left it there.

I indicated to him that we were ready to order. No note book or captain order. I assumed his power of information retention was superior and started placing order. He interrupted me by dashing off to pick a pen and notebook, still leaving the empty beer bottle next to my glass. He returned and I resumed making the order. From his decision to lean in and look closely at the menu as if we were sharing a hymn book in church, I deduced that he was not too familiar with what was on it. Where was this guy’s manager? Perhaps it was the stern looking lady sitting not too far from us looking disinterested in proceedings.

I have become accustomed to orders taking forever and this was no different. My guest ordered for a pork sizzler that was oddly named pork with vegetable on a sizzle. I ordered for a captain fillet in a creamed mushroom sauce with rissole potatoes. Please not that the empty beer bottle was still with me.

So, this food arrived probably 25 minutes after being ordered. From our vantage point, I observed my dear waiter almost dropping our food. This was clearly his first day on the job. At least I hoped that was the case, for the sake of this place. This clumsy debacle continued with the waiter mixing up the orders. As if this was not enough, he placed plates too far to reach and condiments between us and our food. I remedied this by standing and putting things right myself. He left us to our meal. And the empty beer bottle too.

The food was tasty albeit the pork sizzler not sizzling at all and full of bones. The major disappointment here was the staleness of the vegetable sides. The fish was good, the mushroom sauce good as anywhere I have been. These minor issues with the food could have been ignored had it not been for the alarmingly bad service and unprofessional staff. Did I forget to mention that a couple of waitresses were enjoying a sing along and dance in our full view?

For such a nice-looking place, I was totally disappointed with the service and food. All evidence points to an absence of proper management and at this rate, soon there will be an absence of guests.

If you are not disturbed by poor service, visit Trattoria, located in Kimihurura on KG 39 ST.

CHEF’S RECIPE : PORK SIZZLER

INGREDIENTS

400 G pork tenderloin, diced into cubes

2 red onions diced

1 red, 1 yellow and 1 green bell pepper, diced.

2 cloves garlic, diced

Fresh chopped cilantro

1 tbsp light soy sauce

1 tsp corn starch

1 tbsp balsamic vinegar

2 tbsp coconut oil

1 green chili, chopped

Sea salt and pepper to taste

DIRECTIONS

1) Heat 1 tbsp of coconut oil in a wok or large fry pan over medium high heat. Add the pork and cook until browned then remove and set aside.

2) Wipe the pan clean, add the other tbsp of coconut oil. Add the peppers, onions, garlic and chili pepper to the pan and sauté for about 5 minutes until slightly browned.

3) Stir in the cornstarch and soy sauce and cook for less than one min. Add the pork back into the mixture as well as the balsamic vinegar and honey. Cook until the pork is cooked through and sauce is thickened to desired consistency. Add black pepper and any salt to taste. Serve on top of 1/2 cup of rice and sprinkle with cilantro.

Serve with rice.

About the author

Michael Musinguzi Bageine has a decade of experience as a chef and hotel/restaurant manager having worked with illustrious establishments such as Imperial Royale Hotel, Protea Hotel (Entebbe), Steak out Bar and Restaurant, Volar club and Restaurant (Ngong Race Course, Nairobi) amongst others.

editorial@newtimes.co.rw