At the age of 16, Sibo Yvette Ishimwe experienced depression, primarily due to a decline in her academic performance, which conflicted with her expectations.

Despite consistently ranking no lower than second place since primary school, her performance took a downturn in Senior Six while at Ecole de Science de Byimana due to burnout. This led to emotional turmoil and a desperate attempt to regain her previous excellence, resulting in unfavourable results in the national examination.

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Upon applying to the University of Rwanda, Ishimwe was assigned the biology faculty, which she deemed unnecessary, perceiving it as a waste of time and intellectual capacity.

And so she opted to drop out when she was still in Year 1 in the first semester. This caused further emotional distress and a sense of inadequacy. Returning home, she grappled with concerns about her future for up to nine months, as depression cast a shadow over her life.

Ishimwe later enrolled in a school offering pharmacy and resumed education, but the experience left lasting negative beliefs about personal worth and success.

"Every situation and comment was filtered through the lens of ‘I am not enough’, ‘I am a failure’, and ‘I am a burden’, leading to a distorted self-image and a sense of being unloved unless I performed perfectly,” said Ishimwe. "Even when I graduated and secured a good job, it did not come with happiness as I thought.”

Despite initially resisting seeking mental health support due to the stigma surrounding it, Ishimwe eventually decided to pursue professional therapy.

Working with a therapist for over a year, she focused on changing her core beliefs through a psycho-spiritual approach, which involved affirmations and corresponding Bible verses to counter negative thoughts. The process helped her overcome depression and build confidence.

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Ishimwe delves into the details of her journey in her autobiography titled "Dropping Out or Opting Out?” which was launched in Kigali on January 6 at Highland Suites Hotel in Nyarutarama.

The title reflects the central question of whether one chooses to give up entirely or explore alternative options when faced with challenges in academics or life.

Ishimwe says the inspiration behind writing the book stemmed from a desire to share a common yet impactful personal story, believing it could inspire and reassure people that they are not alone. The writing process also served as a form of therapy for Ishimwe’s healing journey.

"Dropping Out or Opting Out? aims to guide students, particularly those transitioning from secondary school to university, offering insights on coping with academic pressure and avoiding the temptation to drop out,” she said.

Throughout the autobiography, also launched in Abuja, Nigeria, Ishimwe addresses the importance of mental health, sharing personal experiences and emphasising the need for understanding and support.

Additionally, the book provides advice for parents on how to navigate the changes their children may experience during the transition, promoting informed decision-making and addressing academic pressures and peer influences.

"Parents need to understand the changes that might happen to their children during the education phases and how they can react to them,” said Ishimwe.

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The licensed pharmacist discussed the prevalence of academic depression, attributing it to the overwhelming academic demands and lifestyle changes, particularly during the transition to university.

"Transitioning to university brings a lot of academic demands and sudden lifestyle changes, leaving students in a position of uncertainty and confusion,” she said. "Peer pressure during the transition to university can lead students to feel the need to fit in, often causing them to lose their sense of identity and struggle with feelings of inadequacy.”

Despite her scientific background, Ishimwe’s passion for writing began in her youth, influenced by her father’s encouragement to document and share experiences.

The 28-year-old is also a certified scrum master, and self-taught data analyst, currently residing in Kigali.

"Dropping Out or Opting Out?" is available on Amazon, and hard copies can be ordered for delivery by calling 0784906822 at the cost of Rwf 20,000.

Looking ahead, Ishimwe plans to expand its availability in bookstores and universities, collaborating with mental health organisations, and translating it into different languages, particularly Kinyarwanda.