In 2000, the then 24-year-old Annette Nyana Mukundente was an expectant mother looking forward to giving birth to her second child. During one of her routine antenatal visits, she was diagnosed with HIV. Young, pregnant and confused, Mukundente rushed home to her husband to break the news to him and perhaps get consolation. Little, did she know that her husband’s reaction would leave her shattered.

In an hour, not only was she homeless, but also feared for her life.

"My husband was a known womanizer. He had fathered children all around the area but when I discovered that I was HIV positive; he claimed that I had brought the virus to our household. He chased me out of our home and threatened to kill me, but in my heart I was sure he is the one who had infected me,” she said.

Two years later, her husband succumbed to HIV/AIDS. What followed was a life of torture and humiliation for Mukundente. She was banished from the village by her husband’s family and friends who claimed that she had a mission to infect others.

More than a decade later, she reflects on that period in her life with mixed feelings.

"I could have died, all because of people’s ignorance. I never stop thinking about how, out of fear, no one could after that, ever mention HIV in that village,” she says.

Mukundente has been living with HIV for 15 years. She has since remarried and is raising her children. She says that with consistent sensitization, some places that are still ignorant about the HIV virus can also be turned around.

Mukundente is just an example of the suffering women endure when they are diagnosed with HIV. As Rwanda joins the rest of the world to mark World AIDS Day, under the theme: "Hands up for HIV Prevention”, the burden of HIV/AIDS on women remains a big challenge. Women bear the brunt of the epidemic which has killed millions ever since the first known case of HIV was reported 57 years ago.

Damien Mouzoun, the Founder and Youth and Family Counselor of Ayina Think Tank, says that society tends to hurt women living with HIV/AIDS more than males in various ways.

He says that irrespective of how one contracted the virus, each member of society needs to be respected and loved equally.

For those who are discriminated and rejected, Mouzoun advises them never to give up or stop trying, adding that they should continue to be who they are.

"We don’t have to be the same or have the same issues, which is why we should move on with life regardless of the situation we find ourselves in even if it may be as a result of bad choices,” he says.

Referring to stereotypes that society tends to hold against women even when they are victims, like say a man marrying after losing a spouse to HIV is easier compared to a woman losing their spouse to HIV, Mouzoun says that society must be sensitized.

"The theories and stereotypes each culture or communities put forth were invented by mankind and when people get more exposed, educated, the paradigm may shift. It is a matter of time and we must keep working on empowering both men and women for a fairer and wiser world,” he says.

Joyce Kirabo a Kigali based Counsellor says that HIV positive women endure a lot of suffering; explaining that society tends to frown upon them which only worsens the situation forcing some of them to fall into depression.

"Women tend to be victims in most of the circumstances, sometimes their husbands blame them for infecting them yet it is sometimes not true. If a couple finds out that it’s infected, it’s best that they sit down and find ways of dealing with the issue instead of pointing accusatory fingers at each other,” she says.

Kirabo also says that in some cases, these women can end up losing their job which only worsens the situation saying that it is still a challenge that society isolates the victims.

"Some of these women end up losing their jobs for example, if a woman was a nanny and the boss gets to know that she is infected with HIV she can be fired and in the end she fails to get means of getting treatment.”

She says that it is the duty of society to contribute; mostly morally, to the infected person’s continued healthy and positive lifestyle.

"The first thing is that we as a community need to provide a safe environment so that these women live a cheerful life. It’s you and me to fight these stereo types against women living with HIV.”

Kirabo also counsels women to understand that HIV is just like any other disease that can be dealt with as long as they observe medical precautions.

"The second thing is that they should be able to appreciate the life they have instead of isolating themselves. They shouldn’t listen to people or societies who condemn them; they should understand that they can get treatment and live a normal life and shouldn’t be discouraged from doing so,” he says.

Living positively

Dr. Wilbur Bushara is doctor at Herna medical center.

He advises HIV patients to refrain from certain things like taking alcohol and smoking as this will weaken their bodies and interfere with the treatment.

He advises the patient to take their drugs regularly and always endeavor to go for checkups.

"People should avoid myths about HIV and instead consult their medical personnel in case of any health issues. They should also seek counseling services in case of any stressful situations,” he warns.

Dr. Bushara also says that having a well balanced diet as an HIV patient can help strengthen the immune system.

When it comes to sexual relations, avoiding multiple partners even when one knows they are positive is very crucial.

He explains that HIV as a virus has two strains- that is HIV 1 and 2 and if one continues living a reckless life like for instance having more than one sexual partner they are most likely to get another strain which might bring about drug resistance.

"With this resistance, the person becomes vulnerable to a condition called Immune Reconstitution Inflammatory Syndrome (IRIS) and other opportunistic infections,” he says.

Women’s views on living positively

Christine Kandang’o is a teacher at La Colombiere School. She says that women living with HIV need to be helped to accept their status which she says goes a long way in helping them live positively.

"We all need a supportive family system and not one that talks behind our back. Through counseling, friends and family will learn to live well and care for their relatives in such times of need,” Kandang’o says.

She also calls upon the victims to be active crusaders and ambassadors in the fight against HIV/AIDS and use their churches, communal activities like Umuganda and Umuganura to raise awareness.

27-year-old Dorah Manzi says that women should understand that society still holds some stereotypes against them and that they should stand up for themselves.

"It’s time to stand up and speak. No one should for example, make a woman feel like she cannot remarry just because she is HIV positive,” she says.

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WHAT CAN BE DONE TO SUPPORT WOMEN LIVING WITH HIV?

Jackline Mukabalisa, office administratorWomen living with HIV should be encouraged to disclose their status to family members and sexual partners so that they don’t undermine their ability and willingness to access and commit to treatment. This will help awaken their ability to protect themselves and stay healthy.

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Lovence Umutoni, pharmacistPeople should try to understand what these victims go through and comfort them because anyone can be in their position. Anyone can contract HIV because it is not discriminative; so we should be compassionate with the ones who have it instead of pointing fingers.

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Doreen Mutesi; Executive ProducerWomen should embrace reality and not feel ashamed about what they are going through. Society on the other hand should not pity or judge the victims because HIV is not the end of the world. Victims should establish relationships with the people around them as this will create space for those who want to care and be there for them.

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Rafak Nara, entrepreneurHIV is not like Ebola, it is not a contagious disease so, and I fail to see why people shun the victims. I think people should reconsider their attitudes and instead be close to these people, provide them with comfort and be supportive.

editorial@newtimes.co.rw