Dear counsellor,

I used to be among the best students in class, but since I broke up with my girlfriend, I have totally failed to gain my academic focus. I now find myself among the poor performers in class, and I am confused about what I should do. Kindly help me.

Yours, Nathan

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There is no universal formula for a successful relationship. Often times people get into school relationships, many of which don’t survive for long. There will undoubtedly be times of frustration when you break up with your lover, but this doesn’t mean you lose focus. You’ve got to learn to walk your own path with the greatest strength and wholeness, especially at your age.

Breaking up with your girlfriend could actually be the greatest advantage that paves way for you to concentrate on your studies. Sit down and evaluate the benefits of education as opposed to early school relationships and make a rational decision about which path is more likely to lead you to success. Under any cost, I would encourage you to give up with any thoughts about this girl and make education your top priority.

At this age, you have no ability to balance the two because it calls for self-control and a high academic focus.

The value addition you get in education will sail you to greater heights in all life aspects and your dream woman will definitely show up at the right time when you have the facilities of loving and maintaining a healthy and productive relationship.

So don’t put your academics at stake by getting socked into love. Every person has room to improve. Being destined for greatness requires you to confront impeding hazards and remember that, your bright future is determined by your present decisions. Therefore, you have what it takes to expunge all memories about this girl and put your focus on books. Don’t waste your tomorrow wondering on your yesterday.

This girl is not a determining factor of what you should be in future but it is rather your career that has the upper hand. Doing the best at the moment puts you in the best position for the next moment. You should get fully involved in school activities and academic undertakings like group work discussion, quizzes, debating competitions and co-curricular activities both of which have great a contribution towards improving your performance and psychological well-being.

Approach your teachers on any concepts that seem complex to understand and try to spend most of your time doing revision or something academic. Set goals to guide you throughout your studies and never surrender your goals for any worthless negatives.

Once you succeed in your studies, you will have the best woman in future who will even fit your status then.

I wish you success.