Dear Aunt Silvia,

I am a young graduate male with a stable job. I have a fiancée whom I dated since our college days. Before I met my fiancée I had a very close classmate whom I could share almost everything with her but we have never been involved in matters of love.

We love each other very much just like brother and a sister. My problem is that no one has ever accepted that we are not lovers, even my fiancée, she is very jealous of my friend and she is always threatening to break our engagement failure to terminate my friendship with my former college mate.

I am torn between my fiancée and friend - I love my girlfriend very much and have a lot of respect for my college mate that I can’t call off our friendship just like that; it will hurt us both very much.

We have been through so much together that no one understands how deep our friendship is, yet its just platonic. What do I do? John.

Dear John,

There are choices in life that we make and sometimes the decisions made can be painful to us and to those we love. One thing that you should know is that, we all have friends and it so happens that we choose our friends and no one can choose a friend for us no matter what the relationship is.

You met your fiancée after you met your friend, you liked what you saw, dated her and went ahead and committed yourself to her, so why would she feel threatened now and not before you took your relationship to another stage?

I respect the fact that you and your friend respect your platonic friendship and have not been tempted to jeopardise the special friendship that you both share; very few people can uphold that because we always tend to think that a man and a woman cannot just be friends.

It is time people understand the different types of friendships, not just because you see Betty and Brown together it means they are having a love affair.

I have gone through your experience personally, and believe you me its even worse when it’s on the opposite side, but I was lucky my partner is very understanding and knows my allegiance in matters of love affairs.

You on the other hand should try to bring the two women together and make your fiancée have a peace of mind knowing that she is not sharing you with your friend on love matters other than just friendship.

There is something that you find fulfilling in your friendship that you cannot do without; at the same time you cannot do without your relationship meaning you need both ladies.

It would be unfair to advise you to choose between the two, you only need to handle both with care and make each party understand how important it is to you to have both of them in your life – there are things that one offers and the other cannot and vice versa.

People should be able to think further than just below the line. Your fiancée should understand that she has her friends and you have yours, and it will come a time when you will have some common friends, but until then let her respect your choice of friends.

Like King Solomon I dare you to make a wise decision after hearing what both parties have to say about this.

Contact: kayitesius@yahoo.com