Feeding a child shouldn’t be debatable

The issue of whether breastfeeding in public is appropriate or not has been ongoing for as long as I can remember, and to this day, I don’t understand why it’s something that people should even be arguing about.

In my opinion, I think it is total rubbish that anyone can even suggest that mothers who want to breastfeed their little ones should do it away from the public eye or that they should endeavor to cover up as they feed their little ones.

It is not hard to wonder what kind of reasoning this is, especially if you know something about babies.

But since we are here, I need someone to break this theory down for me as if I was toddler. If you were too hungry and had a packed lunch in your bag, would you go to the nearest public toilet and eat it? The imagination of this makes you want to throw up, right? So why would you suggest that someone else eats from there? Or is it because you conveniently forgot that a baby’s only source of livelihood is exclusively breast milk? Why would you want a mother who is doing her duty of taking care of her child to have to go that far?

I think what really makes me angry is how I have to live with the fact that bare breasts are increasingly becoming something normal everywhere I turn. Whether I am in a taxi, watching television, at a wedding, or at a fashion show, breasts are literally swinging in my face as if I ordered for the display. No one seems to be bothered about this yet, when a mother gets out her breast to feed her child, all of a sudden, people are talking about how uncomfortable it is. Is a breast only uncomfortable when a child is latched onto one?

I think the issue of whether breastfeeding in public or not is wrong wouldn’t be a problem if some people, consciously or subconsciously have not sexualised the breast to the point that it no longer functions as a baby’s source of food, which is really all the breast is.

If we all could take our hotheadedness and the television culture out of our minds for even just one minute to think about the importance of breast feeding, if we all could just remember that breastfeeding is the only natural and healthy way a mother can feed her child, if all of us could remember that a baby wants what they want whether you are in church, a funeral or a wedding, we would let the breast do what it does which really, primarily, is to feed a child.

So to anyone who is offended at the sight a baby suckling their mother’s breast, then I guess you need to have yourself checked because there must something very wrong with you.

editorial@newtimes.co.rw

A little cover-up is not too much to ask

About two months ago, I was diagnosed with what the doctor called ‘a degree in typhoid and malaria’. As my very sick-self waited patiently to be admitted, a lady (also in line) decided to breastfeed her baby. And that was fine. I mean its breastfeeding, right?

But not only did she whip out a not-so-small (or firm for that matter) breast with force I can’t even describe, she insisted on leaving the ‘milk bag’ hanging out long after the baby was full – milk and all dripping profusely. More shocking was the fact that she was busy on her phone, unmoved by the four other people around who were noticeably confused on where to shift their gaze.

As a mother of two, I can assure you I understand all too well the essence of breastfeeding, whether in the comfort of your home, or during a church sermon. It’s the most natural thing in the world, some say. But so is urinating and its ‘heavier counterpart’ – but we behave ourselves and do it in private right?

So maybe women do not have to go off and hide to breastfeed, but I think covering up will make it more comfortable for everybody. With all the shawls being sold in town, in fact, I have seen breastfeeding cover-ups being sold on social media; it shouldn’t be a problem.

Whether or not that is their intended purpose, breasts have and always will be seen as ‘sexual organs’. If girls are told ‘never expose your breasts because it is indecent’, I think by saying ‘only expose them when breastfeeding’ is a tad bit phony. How about we all cover up and not force other people to understand just how natural it is for a baby to tug at its mother’s tits in public like she was signed up for a mastectomy, therefore the need to drain it all then.

Putting nudity aside, how about body fluids? Like the woman in the hospital who left me agape with her dripping breast, there’s something about juices from someone’s body exposed for all to see that’s actually gross. When body fluids are involved, discretion is expected – and that includes breastfeeding. Humans have a natural distaste towards body fluids – it’s an original reaction.

So even though having kids is a choice and no one should interfere with how a mother chooses to parent her child, in a public setting, other’s needs and wants – to not be exposed to nudity and leaking body fluids – must be practical as well. To force others to view something they are not comfortable with under any public circumstance is actually offensive. Having respect for others means trying your best not to offend them.

Again, women do not have to find places to hide to breastfeed; they should simply carry with them large enough shawls to cover up the ‘assets’ that make other people uncomfortable. It’s really a win-win for everyone; the baby feeds and the mother does not get strange glares from people around, silently praying for the ground to open and save them from a very awkward moment.

With breastfeeding, common courtesy is expected in public settings, just like it is with other normal and natural functions involving body fluids.

rachel.garuka@newtimes.co.rw