Women for Women Rwanda (WfWR), a non-governmental organization dedicated to supporting women and girls in in the country, is on a mission to break the vicious cycle of poverty and social exclusion by empowering women and enabling them to become socially and economically capable, steering their communities towards better health, education, and social conditions.

The New Times had the opportunity to visit and witness the impact of WfWR's Men Engage Program, a vital initiative within the organization's broader movement to eradicate Gender-Based Violence (GBV).

This program focuses on family empowerment and education about gender equality, with the primary goal of creating lives free from GBV and fostering positive community transformation through the contributions of its graduates.

As part of the ongoing 16 Days of Activism against GBV, WfW-Rwanda, featured in The New Times' exploration, is at the forefront of initiatives providing hope for communities grappling with GBV issues. The organization's efforts in Mareba Sector, Bugesera District, Eastern Province, include training sessions on positive masculinity and the involvement of male role models in peer mentoring. As observed, WfWR is breaking barriers, instilling new mindsets, and fostering a collective effort to combat GBV in the region.

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In particular, WfWR highlighted the ‘stronger women, stronger nation' programme, the role of change agents, core training programme participants, and overall programme graduates, especially couples who benefited from their interventions. The testimonials highlighted the ever-evolving conflicts households had, and the transformation.

Couples spoke frankly about their lives before the training, marked by unrest and disorder and how, post-intervention, and harmony had become the pillar in their daily lives. The impact was real as relationships flourished, with newfound peace reigning in once-troubled households.

Couple’s experiences

Couples, such as Fabien Tuyisenge and Athanasia Uwiringiyimana, in Mareba Sector, attested to the fact that their relationship had changed for the better.

Tuyisenge said: "Before the training, our relationship was bad. I used to hide some of our belongings and money from my wife, freely met with my fellow men in bars without considering her pain, and assigned her specific tasks at random.

"However, after the gender training, I realized the abusive behavior existing in these actions. We learned about the gender roles affecting tasks like cooking, washing clothes, and gathering firewood, and we began sharing these responsibilities soon after. Now, I involve my wife in financial decisions, communicate my whereabouts, and she forgives me whenever I have done wrong to her. Her temper has disappeared.”

"As for helping others, in my role of overseeing village security, I encountered situations where conversations led to identifying and addressing instances of sexual abuse within families. For instance, in one case, I discovered a situation where a man was unknowingly subjecting his wife to sexual abuse by having sex with her without her readiness or consent, often while he was drunk.”

Through dialogue and guidance, Tuyisenge helped the man understand the importance of preparing and communicating with his wife for mutual enjoyment and respect in their intimate relationship.

Over the past two years, the couple has been living together in harmony.

Tuyisenge recommended more training, noting that the pilot phase was transformative and that he believes that more sessions, especially for men, are crucial to sustain positive change.

Equally, Uwiringiyimana is committed to influencing fellow mothers to embrace financial discipline and saving habits since that helped enhance their decisions on future plans. They are now living happily together and thriving, she noted.

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Similar positive transformation was acknowledged by Jean Paul Ukizebaraza and his wife, Daphoroza.

They got married in 2011, but things were tough due to repeated fighting and related trouble in their marriage.

"There was ongoing conflict until a long separation occurred," he said, "Then, upon reconnecting, we both met WfWR. During the training, we discovered a fair 50/50 split in responsibilities and everything in our family is now okay.”

Ukizebaraza affirmed that substance abuse led to frequent fights. But they have since resolved issues, earning him recognition as an exemplary man.

The community nicknamed him "Bandebereho,” he noted.

"This transformation made me involved in change agents, sharing lessons learned. Now, we both share property, finances, and responsibilities,” he said.

Daphoroza said that before WfWR training, property disputes and violence were common in their family, leading them to live separately yet officially still together.

"WfWR taught me harmony and consultation. Presently, we consult both our children and ourselves, avoiding complaints at the village office and focusing on joint decision-making for acquired property,” she said

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Ephrem Mudenge, the Men Engage program coordinator at WfWR, said that the programme began in 2019, with an aim to involve men as positive allies in advancing women’s empowerment.

He added: "Equally, influential leaders were selected from various sectors, such as local leaders, faith community leaders, ‘Inshuti z’Umuryango’ (friends of the family), and community health workers. These leaders were targeted to challenge harmful social norms hindering equality and to support men on their transformation journey.”

"As part of sustainability, 17 individuals, both male and female, were chosen as agents of change to conduct community awareness campaigns, advocate for gender equality, and prevent gender-based violence,” he said.

Mudenge affirmed that these agents reached over 15,000 people through community gatherings, such as community assemblies and community work initiatives like Umuganda.

Their effort resulted in significant change, including more than 200 families committing to legalizing their marriages.

"The programme continues to engage with faith communities, influential institutions, and partners to challenge harmful social norms hindering gender equality,” he added.

"Involving men in the pursuit of equality is deemed essential, as empowering women alone cannot achieve true equality without their support and mindset transformation.”