Dear counsellor,

I have a temper problem; In fact at school no body enjoys my company because at some point I hurt them. Kindly, guide me on how I can control my temper; otherwise I stand a risk of losing the people around me.

Yours Job

Anger is a natural, adaptive reaction to fear or threats and can instigate powerful, often aggressive feelings which allow us to defend ourselves when we are attacked. A certain amount of anger, hence, is necessary to our survival. However if hot temper gets out of control and turns destructive, even if it’s justified, it can often sparkle and cause severe torture both to your life and to those that interact with you. In such a situation, it’s crucial to find out what generates your anger and develop strategies that suppress it to be converted into more constructive behaviour. There is no single human being on earth that is completely free from anger. Similarly, you cannot control the events that happen to you, but you can certainly have control over how you react to them to reduce both your emotional and physiological arousal that may be caused by anger. If you’re negative or angry around people, they probably aren’t that happy to see you either. Controlling anger means staying positive and doing the right things. Usually, anger may be as a result of your own messy actions yet you keep assigning blame on others. Hence, there need to often check your own actions and accord due respect to yourself and others.

Make a plan on how to manage hot temper and check your progress on a regular basis to keep your cool and picture yourself as a supreme ruler, who owns yourself and that you have the power to suppress it. It’s a slow move but it eventually works. If certain things aggravate you, avoid them completely and let your temper subside.

When you become angry and overly dramatic, involve yourself in doing academic, spiritual or social activates or visualising a place where you feel happy and eliminate tension in a relaxed and happy environment.

Some angry people use annoyance as a way to avoid feeling hurt, but that doesn’t take the hurt away. Anger is a serious emotion, but it’s often accompanied by ideas that, if examined, can make you laugh and you will have your body’s stress response lowered. Don’t feel angry about events which are over and unchangeable. You will live a cheerful and compatible social life both within and outside school.

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YOUR DEBATE

Flavia Ingabire, university student 

In my opinion you need to take control of your mind,. It’s obvious that if you can hurt other people, that means you don’t have total control over your anger. Learn to ignore things that raise your temper; in fact it’s better to walk away when you feel angry than to hurt the people you care about.

Praise Mutesi, university student 

Whenever you get angry, always ask yourself the result of your actions in case you choose to vent your anger on someone. Friends are very important people in our lives; when we hurt them we lose the privilege of having the company of good people around us. Take total control over your mind and actions and avoid taking a destructive path.

Fred Karomba, high school graduate 

Consider talking to a school counsellor about your problem; these are experts who are qualified in about handling different student’s issues, and thus have massive information and expertise to help you deal with your temper. Just be open to the counsellor and I promise that one day you will be in control of your anger.

Patrick Muhizi, high school graduate 

Start practising day by day to control your anger. Temper management doesn’t just happen in a single day; you practise more often and eventually it will come. Besides, learn to channel your anger into something more productive than hurting people.

By Dennis Agaba