Dear Editor,

As a member of the Diaspora, I am glad that my country is stepping up efforts to protect women and especially those within the confines of marriage.

I was reading a New Times’ editorial piece and it’s great that legislation has been set in motion to protect their rights and punish the abuse of those rights; however, this is only a small piece of the pie.

I once heard a story of a prosecutor who during the day put away men (in prison) who beat up their wives, and during the night he himself beat up and raped his own wife. This story disgusted me. I have, however, realised that mankind cannot stand in the way of change.

Legalizing something does not change much if people do not shift their mind set on certain things. Let me tackle just the domestic rape/dispute issue.

My generation of women enjoy the luxury of working outside the home and most people will not even think twice.

However, there’s a long history behind this paradigm shift. A country that has zero tolerance for violence does not mean everyone has that opinion.

If we can educate our children, and even the country that there are otherways of dealing with domestic disputes (like our traditional way of having elders or family intervene or better communication methods), we will go much further.

Most importantly, husbands must understand that violence is not an option. Society must ostracize men/women who decide that their wives or husbands, common law partners or children are punching bags or a source of forced pleasure.

Also, another important aspect is breaking the silence. We all know the statistics of young girls, and now even boys, who are raped not bystrangers but by immediate family. These horror stories are reported on but it doesn’t really change people’s mindsets.

We tend to say, ohhh what horrible people and think it’s something intrinsically wrong with them (or in the case of conjugal rape, think well, it is his wife!) instead of associating it to society’s tolerance of gender-based violence.

While it is not the state’s business to always intervene in domestic issues, it seems that for now, it will have to be the arbitrator until gender-based violence is eliminated from the bottom up; when society does not tolerate people who can commit demeaning acts towards those they vowed to love and protect.

Canada