There is no need (and time) for intros so we delve straight into the issue at hand:

Renegade journalists:

These ones route all their stories to the newsroom through internet but from an unknown location outside of the office space.

The key words to note here are "route”, "internet”, and "unknown location”. A renegade journo only reports to the newsroom by default –as in, for all imaginable reasons other than to type away at news stories.

The thing with renegade journos is that unlike the regular scribes, they have developed their own somewhat elaborate but still fluid survival mechanism that is outside of the conventional newsroom or known journalistic codes of conduct.

A renegade journo will be found typing stories away at the Kigali Public Library, at The Office in Kiyovu, at places like Inema Art Center and Discover Rwanda Youth Hostel and The Innovation Village and any of those now familiar, informal free-to-tap Wi-fi zones that keep sprouting up overnight in every nook and cranny of the City of Kigali.

When renegade scribes get paid, they accord their selves absence without official leave, and will only return to work when they get broke, which is usually a week or two after pay day.

The other thing with renegade journalists is that they are also society renegades, in that they may not be in the habit of wearing socks and combing their hair and pressing their clothes.

The realest example of a Kigali renegade journalist is a man named Joseph Oindo, who also goes by several other names; Ondiek, African Bush Doctor or African Bush Master.

The Goethe Institut journo:

These pretenders only go to cover events to which they are invited via a press release. Every morning they rush to the newsroom to check their mail and social media handles for any possible stray invites to those usually dull media events.

The early bird:

By this I do not mean the ones that report in the newsroom at 4:00 am to browse for breaking news from around the world and then rush to post it in their good-for-nothing cyber groups.

The journos that we call early birds are the ones that specialize in covering and even gate crashing morning events.

There was a time I too was an early bird scribe before I eventually mutated into the type I am today. That time I would never miss an event put together by such organizations like the Imbuto Foundation and the National Unity and Reconciliation Commission because such organizations usually serve teas and coffees as opposed to rum at their events –usually in some Five-Star Hotel boardroom.

Talking of Imbuto Foundation, long live that organization for all the diligent work that it’s known for, but since I’m not a direct beneficiary, I’ll be a little selfish and state exactly why I like Imbuto Foundation.

The first reason has got to do with the grounded-ness and solidness and originality of the name –Imbuto. The second reason has got to do with its tone and resonance.

In fact, such songs should recur over and over again in our local songs because in singing not every word goes, for then it would be back to the usual mundane day-to-day talk. In music, the singer has to have a sharp ear for words with tone and resonance.

Words like Imbuto

The other good reason to love Imbuto Foundation is that they have some of the best corporate T-shirt designs and swag that Kigali has to offer.

But enough of Imbuto and back to journos.

The Dubai classic:

These ones were not meant to be journalists and are simply there by way of searching for food for the pot back home. They don’t dress like journos, they don’t look like us either, yet they have such a high sense of self importance and professional worth.