Vulnerability may be the single most important ingredient in any healthy and sustainable relationship. Countless cultures the world over perpetuate the myth that vulnerability is synonymous with weakness; that to be open with our emotions is to be careless; that to try for something and think outside the box puts us in danger; and that to fully express our creativity could isolate us or make us the victims of others’ judgment. 

But think about what attracts us most to others. Charismatic leaders who capture our hearts with their hopes for a better future often live in the audacity that what they dream is possible. Inspiring teachers remind us that our unique talents and abilities are what will make us successful. Caring role models show us, very often through their affections, how powerful the healing aspects of love are to our wellbeing and wholeness. The running thread through each of these exemplars is vulnerability: the courage to be who they are in a world that gives no guaranteed acceptance, respect, or outcomes. But they give us something more important: the power that is possible in showing up and being seen.

Hope. Inspiration. Love. Some of the most important lived virtues and aspirations in the world spring from the courage of people who dare to live their truth, regardless of what the consequences may be. It is in telling our truth that we liberate the shame that keeps us bound in our pain. It is in showing our truth that we clear the cobwebs of self-doubt and self-defeat. And it is in living our truth that we proclaim we are worthy of love and belonging because of, not in spite of, who we are.

At the end of the day it may still seem too risky – to share a new idea at a work team meeting; to show tears to a friend when we are experiencing hurt or pain; to step out on a limb alone, uncertain if we will be supported. But in these risks – in this vulnerability – we learn about ourselves. We find out about our capacities for growth, our ethics and values, and how we want to walk through our lives. Being vulnerable gives us the once in a lifetime opportunity to be exactly who we were meant to be – flaws, imperfections, and shadows – all of it. It is our vulnerability that will inspire others, that may give them a renewed sense of hope, and that may allow them the chance to know love.

President Kagame has been quoted to say, "It’s all right to fail to succeed, but not to fail to try. I just want to try.” It is in Kagame’s courage – in his vulnerability – in his daring to rebuild the landscape of Rwanda – that he has transformed not just a nation, but a continent.

It is when we hide ourselves that we become inauthentic and find difficulty connecting with others. So before shying away from living your truth in the world, remember that your degree of health and vitality, as well as the health of your relationships, is fed by your ability to simply show up and be seen.

Billy Rosa is a Registered Nurse, Integrative Nurse Coach