I will have you know that I’m a coward. I absolutely hate scary movies and I can’t stand funny noises at night. In fact, there is a story that constantly cracks up my friends.

A few years back, I think it was about four, I decided to take a lady friend of mine to the cinema as a birthday treat. Being the African I am, I didn’t first find out what movie they were screening, but rather just waltzed in, paid for the two tickets and made myself comfortable.

Like I said earlier, I hate things that frighten me and a movie with the title of ‘Day of the Living Dead’ was going to do just that.

If I’d been alone I’d have walked out promptly and demanded a refund. But I was with a girl…and she looked like she could handle it. And if worst came to worst, I’d jump on the girl’s lap and hide my face in her warm bosom.

I knew that this movie was going to be a particularly bad experience as soon as it started. It was based in Prague (that city is spooky, at least to me anyway).

The movie had this grayish tint about it, the first scene had a dead priest with signs of the stigmata and it had this creepy soundtrack. It was going to be a very, very long two hours.

However, I couldn’t last fifteen minutes. I could barely stand all the prevailing creepiness but I put my foot down when I saw some little kids frolicking about in a cemetery and then promptly turning into demons. I stomped out, telling the girl that I was going outside to have a coke, and finally started breathing properly.

Goodness, I couldn’t see why people actually watch those things…why in the world should someone pay good money to get frightened?

I mean, if you want an adrenaline rush it would be cheaper to walk through the shadier parts of Bilyogo at one in the morning wouldn’t it?

Five minutes later the poor girl came running out of the movie hall as well, ashen faced and close to tears, asking why I’d left her inside by herself.  She demanded to be taken home and that was the end of that.

Why am I telling you this story? First of all because it’s amusing but most of all, because it shows you all just what a chicken I am.

However, some people will not call my dislike of horror movies cowardly but rather prudent. I’m the kind of person who will act only when I’m sure of the outcome. But I found out that I was a lone species where my ‘slow-slow’ was concerned.

Last Saturday I was attending an introduction ceremony when I got a phone call from some random number. It was an old school friend of mine from Uganda. He was in town and needed money to rent a room at a hotel and party.

Didn’t he have his own? Nope. He was in Kabale town (that’s the town closest to the Gatuna border) when, at the spur of the moment, decided to get a taxi to Kigali. So, here he was, penniless, but in a party mood.

Like I said, this guy’s a really good friend so I didn’t have a problem hooking him up, but I’d have never dared to pull a similar stunt.

I mean, what if I’d been broke, out of town or in hospital? He’d have become the newest maiybobo in town. That guy was plucky. Oh, and I still don’t watch scary movies.

Contact: madogz2002@yahoo.ca