Get real

This last column on balance and life satisfaction is a double whammy. It requires you to take accountability for the level of contentment you feel in your day to day. It asks you to loosen up your high self-expectations and put some things in perspective. In short, it suggests that you learn how to set realistic goals and get comfortable with saying “no” to other people.

Sunday, December 27, 2015
Billy Rosa

This last column on balance and life satisfaction is a double whammy. It requires you to take accountability for the level of contentment you feel in your day to day. It asks you to loosen up your high self-expectations and put some things in perspective. In short, it suggests that you learn how to set realistic goals and get comfortable with saying "no” to other people.

Have you ever set yourself up for failure or disappointment? That something you want or hope for and you know isn’t attainable at this time, but you set your sights on it with all you have anyway? And without a well laid out plan of attack, you insist on moving forward, feeling completely deflated when it doesn’t happen. One of the first questions you can ask is, "Was the goal realistic?”

We have to get real about our willingness to work harder, the time we have to sacrifice toward realizing the goal, and the support we have in our lives that will keep us happy and content while we strive for what we want. Any goal is possible to achieve with intention, the right resources, and a little help from the universe. This is not intended to be discouraging or disheartening. Quite the opposite! It’s meant to be empowering. We have to get deliberate about how we move toward attaining our hopes and dreams.

When we set a realistic plan in place and commit to seeing it through, then the goals we want become possible.

But we put ourselves through much unnecessary stress and self-criticism simply by being untruthful with ourselves and what we say we want. By setting goals that make sense to where we are and what we have to work with, we experience more satisfaction in life as we continue to accomplish small and well-thought out targets.

And how to achieve these goals when we don’t know how to manage our time? One of the worst time-stealing habits many people blindly perpetuate is to say "yes” to everything and everyone. They say "yes” before they know what it entails, how much time it will take, or what they will have to give up in order to help out. It is the automatic response many of us give to being asked to work on an extra project or help out with a friend’s party or watch the neighbor’s children.

So many of us feel obligated to offer our time and energy when we really don’t want to. And then what happens? We feel resentful, overwhelmed, and worn out. So if you find yourself saying, "Of course!” "No problem!”

"Absolutely!” Start to watch your patterns of over-committing and spreading yourself too thin.

Your life satisfaction is up to you! It is about how you look at things, the possibilities you create for yourself, and the way you manage your time. Be honest with yourself at all costs. Pull out all the stops. Face the truth so that you can live your life powerfully. Get deliberate, get intentional, and get real with yourself.

Billy Rosa is a Registered Nurse, Integrative Nurse Coach