In addition to meeting the responsibilities of work and family and making the much-needed time for play and rest, there is another crucial aspect to living a balanced and satisfied life: using daily self-strategies to release stress and anxiety, sustain a healthy self-concept, and set and achieve realistic goals. There is a practice you can integrate into your everyday routine that meets all of these needs and also helps foster healthy self-esteem and self-love at the same time: the use of positive self-talk and affirmations. 

Have you ever listened to that voice in your head? If you just stopped and asked yourself, "What voice?” – that is the voice I’m talking about! Sometimes it tells us we are a failure or no good or really need to lose some weight.

Other times it reminds us that we are insufficient and not up to the challenges of achieving success.

For many of us, our minds send us unchecked, repetitive, and defeating thoughts all day long like, "Not good enough,” "Not smart enough,” "Not pretty enough,” "Unworthy of love,” and "Unworthy of affection.” Over time we come to believe these internal mental assaults as the truth when they couldn’t be farther from it. The only truth is that we have allowed ourselves to become habituated to a hostile and self-limiting inner world. We have abandoned ourselves!

The irony is we say things to ourselves that we would never say to a friend or family member whom we love. But we don’t believe ourselves to be worthy of that same respect. Lucky for us we can redirect and rebuild the relationship we have with ourselves right now.

First step: Identify your self-talk. What words to you say to yourself on a regular and consistent basis? "I’m stupid?” "I’m ugly?” "I don’t deserve to be happy?” Acknowledge the self-talk and ask yourself, "Is this really my voice?” Or do I hear these messages from other people? Sometimes we mistakenly confuse unloving messages that are being given to us by others as our truth.

Second: Create a new list of statements that inspire and energize you. Think about the way you want to feel and consider what beliefs you would have to create in order to feel that way. For example, "I am smart and capable.”

"I make friends wherever I go.” "I am loved and loveable.”

Next: Practice, practice, practice. Repeat your new affirmations in the morning when you wake up and before bedtime. Write them several times a day in your journal. Look at yourself in the mirror and speak them to yourself. Slowly, your beliefs about yourself will begin to soften and evolve. But, remember, it will take time to release old negative thoughts and embrace new positive ones. Don’t give up – it can sometimes take months or even years before we learn to believe and live by our affirmations at a deep level.

Anything you want for yourself and your life is possible as you name it and proclaim it.

Billy Rosa is a Registered Nurse, Integrative Nurse Coach