The holidays are here and it is that time of the year when most people make New Year’s resolutions to change or be better. There are things that most of us promised to drop in 2014 but nothing much has changed. Below are some the things we hope will not be taken to 2016.

‘Tick’ eyebrows

There are eyebrows then there are ‘eye-blows’. Where did the good old eyebrow go? There must be some ‘fashion expert’ who convinced our ladies that they look better if they erase any traces of eyebrows and then use a pencil to draw them back on, leaving a brow that seems to be looking for directions. If there was a time to do something about that eyebrow, this is it. In 2016, give us an opportunity to tell if the raised eyebrow means that you are surprised or simply a supporter of the Nike brand. I mean, what else really explains that tick?

Wedding ‘begging’ meetings

It is part of our African norm to financially contribute to family and friends’ wedding ceremonies. We get that, but when did this whole process turn into some sort of ‘harassment’ where contributions ceased being voluntary and are almost ‘coerced’. What is this trend of sending the same message inviting someone to your wedding meeting five times a day? If you were to count how much money you have contributed to weddings, how much money do you think you would be having in your account? Gone are the days when people used to be upset about not being invited to a wedding ceremony, in fact, most people are now grateful when you forget to invite them because it is too stressful.

Horrible breath

There is bad breath and then there is just horrible breath. Before you start wondering about the difference, let me explain. Bad breath is what I like calling a first cousin of horrible breath; close but not so close. It is the kind that anyone can have on a random day; say, from spending a long time without speaking or maybe from eating too much garlic. And then, there is horrible breath. This is the kind that you experience when someone opens his mouth and with each word he says, you feel like he is taking away a piece of your life. Has someone ever opened his or her mouth to speak and you wonder if their mission is to kill you? Has someone’s breath ever hit you so hard and you wonder if you will ever recover? I am serious, because with these people, you can’t even save yourself by holding your breath because they just never stop talking.

Unless you want to kill everyone around you with a slow, silent, bad-breath death; please use the remaining part of 2015 to see a dentist. For those of you who have a bad relationship with toothpaste and a toothbrush, I can assure you that brushing your teeth is not so hard; start slowly, at least once a day and I promise you that will eventually get the hang of it.

Dump Yahoo emails

I recently asked someone for his email address and he sent me his Yahoo address. I couldn’t help it, so I laughed. At this rate, someone somewhere is still using a Hotmail account. Let us all remember that this is 2015 going to 2016 not 2006, otherwise, we would all still be on Hi5.

Leggings

Anyone who has tried on leggings knows how comfortable they are, but this is 2015 going to 2016, and unless the memo didn’t get to everyone, the L has since been replaced and we now have jeggings which are thankfully equally comfortable. Even when we feel that leggings should have been left in 2014, we still forgive those who wear them, only if they remember that it is an abomination to wear them with a small top, no matter how great their body shape is. There is something that is off about seeing some body parts when you are not supposed to.

Three phone ‘tycoons’

Unless you sell ‘me2u’ airtime, I would like someone to explain to me why anyone would move around with three phones. ‘Three phone tycoons’ usually have Tigo, MTN and Airtel sim-cards and each sim has its own phone.

The circus when one of the phones rings is something straight out of a comedy movie because, somehow, they never seem to know which ring tone is for what phone. But can you blame them? This is the year to leave that phone circus behind. There is no excuse because thanks to China, if you can carry three phones, then you can move around with a three-sim phone. Everyone can live with a lesser evil.

Stale social media jokes

There is always someone on social media who goes to Google and picks a joke, and without an ounce of shame tries to pass it on like his. What this person usually doesn’t know, or pretends not to know, is that the rest of the world saw this joke way back in 2009, laughed and moved on. While the person posting this could probably still be recycling jokes about George Bush Jr, I don’t even know what to say about the people who comment on such posts applauding the person who has posted it for his or her sense of humour. Seriously?

Portable radios in bars

What does one have to do to remind people that Kigali is a capital city not a farm somewhere in Cyangugu? You see, in a farm, you can make as much noise as you want and no one will be bothered by it, but thanks to proximity issues in urban areas, the story is altogether different.

So you have decided to go to a bar to watch a football match on television, why on earth would you bring your portable radio along and more importantly, why would you play it at an annoyingly high volume? There are so many places that you can carry your radio to if you want to listen to your favourite football commentator screaming his lungs out, but one of those places should not be a pub or a taxi. Who still uses a portable radio anyway? Unless you are 55 years old and above, it is unforgiveable to move around with a portable radio. Like I said earlier, Chinese manufacturers made things simpler. In 2016, buy a phone with a radio, get earphones, plug in and let everyone enjoy their hard earned money too.

30-year-olds still under mummy’s watch

A connection between a child and a mother is something that is undeniable but that said, if he or anyone else in the family is not terminally sick or severely disabled, what excuse does a 30-year-old man have to still live at his mother’s house? For women, it is understandable, if culture comes in the way and dictates that it is only appropriate to leave your parents’ home only when you are getting married. What about a man? If you are 30 and you don’t see any problem with still being in your mother’s house, then there is a fundamental problem that needs be dealt with by the end of 2015.

Nude photos

In 2015, social media platforms have been awash with celebrity and non celebrity nude photos. Some people have argued that it is your right to do what you want with your phone and I agree, but let us use common sense.

There are thieves and there are people out here who don’t care about your rights who are willing to share your private photos.

So, in 2016, invest in a mirror. If you really feel that you want to look at your body and admire it in your free time, it is best that you remove your clothes and look at yourself in the mirror instead of taking off your clothes and taking pictures whose next destination may be in the wrong hands. If it is any consolation, the mirror will not lie to you the way filtered photos tend to.

Debts

I’d like to think that many people have found themselves hard on cash at some point in their lives, therefore forced to seek help from a friend, relative and in some extreme cases, a loan shark. However, in 2016, crazy debts that cross all the way from your local bar, to the tailor’s to the salon to the airtime vendor, to colleagues at work, to one seriously angry landlord must stop! With some proper planning and budgeting, this madness must stop in 2016.

Binge drinking

The holiday season is here, so now is the time to drink and be merry. Drunken folks will definitely be spotted staggering out of bars at strange hours like noon. People, drinking like the Mayans confirmed the apocalypse has never been in style, in fact, it is one of the highest levels of foolishness. Therefore, it is imperative that this kind of ludicrousness is left in 2015.

editorial@newtimes.co.rw

YOUR VOICE: What should people not do in 2016?

Israel Andrew Kazibwe, journalist

I find spiting in public very annoying and seriously unhygienic. It’s not only frustrating to see someone spiting in public, it also makes one concerned about the kind of diseases a person might get from such an unclean act. In my opinion, people should respect the public and leave such provoking habits and practises in 2015.

Christine Mutesi, sales person

People who literally ‘chew out loud’ are annoying. I find it not only impolite, but also, a serious lack of table manners and an embarrassment to the people around. I urge such people to leave this habit in 2015 and enjoy their meals in 2016 by chewing politely and quietly.

Ukey Aniket, Mahatma Gandhi University online student support provider

The habit of talking loud over phone, I feel should be abandoned in 2015. I find very annoying when a person decides to make everyone around them aware of what they are going through or their plans for the day, while on phone. I hope that in 2016 people will consider talking on their mobile phones a private thing and keep it low while in public.

Fred Furah, entrepreneur

People who sniff and pick their nose must not continue with that in 2015. I find sniffing and sneezing in public without covering your nose very irritating and unethical. I look forward to seeing people in 2016 that respect the public and blow their noses with tissues, or cover the mouth when they sneeze.

Compiled by Dennis Agaba