In the middle of the school was a large tree. On that tree, a car rim was tied and it served as a bell. So we called the tree a bell tower.

In the bell tower, numerous species of birds liked to congregate to sing off-pitch songs and to target our heads for the purpose of disposing of their excrement. We had learnt to live with this arrangement. We looked down and sped up each time we passed by the tree.

Then one evening, during prep, we heard a scream. We ran to the bell tower to find Sandra, one of our classmates lying on the ground, clutching her head.

She said a mysterious creature had flown down and hit her. A month later, Sandra died of malaria. And so a conspiracy theory began.

The bell tower wasn’t an ordinary tree; it was demonic. In fact, if you were keen, rumor had it; you would notice that it changed its position each night.

So the intercessors set apart some time to pray. They starved themselves in the name of fasting and surrounded the tree every night to rid it of evil.

They spoke in unintelligible languages. They cried out to God, who by the look of things wouldn’t hear them unless the shouted until their voices turned hoarse.

The birds, obviously frightened by the noise, would fly away. Believers took this to mean that the demons were in flight. They clapped and sang songs of victory. But the birds came back each night and it was lather rinse repeat.

The intercessors took this to mean that God was displeased with them. They shouted louder and starved themselves further. They repented. They stopped talking to us the sinners in order to keep themselves pure.

But God was busy, I guess. And when the mysterious creature struck again, it struck one of the intercessors. She was immediately taken to the school chapel where they rebuked the devil and commanded him to leave her.

The devil didn’t leave. In fact, a week later, Charlotte’s parents were invited to the school to take her home. She had lost her mind. She was seeing dead relatives in her dreams, beckoning her to the other side of the world.

We demanded that the tree be cut down. When the school administration remained adamant, we broke a few classroom windows and refused to eat. When that didn’t work, we broke the padlock on the school store, equipped ourselves with slashers and took turns cutting the tree.

The school administration eventually agreed to mow the tree. We stood by clapping and dancing as we watched the school truck exit the main gate with the tree on board.

But was the tree demonic? I doubt it. The mysterious creature was nothing more than a hungry eagle that liked to swoop down and try to steal from us.

But if the tree wasn’t demonic, then why did Charlotte run mad? Well, because she had an inbred fear about the mysterious creature that lived in the bell tower and when she was hit, she became paranoid and paranoia bred insanity.

So I’m here to apologise to the bell tower whose life and service were cut short. I would apologise to the devil for the false accusations but I think that under any circumstance, everything bad is the devils’ fault.